SCORING: Give yourself three points for each time you answered always, two for each usually and one for each rarely or never. If your total is:
32 to 36 — You have got the kind of marriage most experts would consider ideal. You're paying attention to all the right things: communication, affection and mutual respect. Lucky you!
24 to 31 — You figured out the difference between a good-enough marriage and a wonderful one. You're not afraid to express your true feelings because you're confident that your partner has your back.
16-23 — You may be pretty content in your relationship, but something needs attention. Are you sure you're communicating openly with one another? Are you paying attention to gestures of romance and affection that make a marriage strong? Talk to one another about areas of your relationship that need work — and get to it.
15 or below — Clearly there's a communication problem here, and maybe a few others as well. If this marriage is important to you and you can't make improvements on your own, you should consider professional counseling.
How did you do?
30 to 36 — Whoa! You’ve managed to stay connected and passionate over the years. It can’t hurt to go back over the statements you marked as sometimes or rarely and see what else you can do to heat things up even more. And if you scored a perfect 36? You’re sizzling!
21-29 — Pretty good. You’ve sustained a lot of your sexual energy and you are both still interested enough to stoke the fires. Look over what you found missing, make a list of the things each of you would like to share and see how you can add spark to your sex life.
20 or below — You’re traveling on parallel tracks, an all-too-common pattern in long-term marriages. The good news is that you recognize what’s wrong and want to change. Ask your partner to take the quiz and compare notes. Can you change just one thing this week? If talking about sex is too difficult or frustrating, or if you end up in a sparring match, make an appointment with a couple’s counselor. There’s no reason why you can’t have the sex life you always wanted. And it’s never too late to start.