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Puzzled About Dating After 50?

Our relationship expert answers your questions

Transcript from an online chat with Dr. Pepper Schwartz

Question from Carl: I recently started dating after a divorce. What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s?

Also see: A guy's guide to dating.

PS: Keep it short and simple. Meet for coffee. If it's great, then you can extend the time. If not, you have a good out. Do something where you'll have something to talk about. Taking a walk, for example, can put a lot of pressure on two people who have just met. Go see a movie, a play or sporting event.

Pepper Schwartz - Dating again?

Finding new love is possible at any age. — Photo by: Ronnie Kaufman/Corbis

Question from Jeannie from Cleveland: My 22-year-old son lives in the house and I want to date. What should I do? I feel like a teenager!

PS: You're not a teenager, so you have rights! That is to say, you are a mature woman and you want to date, so I think you need to talk to your son and tell him that you are going to start dating again. On the other hand, you don't want to put your date, yourself or your son in embarrassing situations. You might meet your early dates outside the house, or not bring them to the house unless the relationship is becoming more important. He is 22, and he has heard of "dating."

Question from Guest: Men with gray hair are thought to look distinguished. What do men think about women with gray hair?

PS: In general, I think they think they're older. I don't think it's fair, but it's probably true that gray hair is a signal to men that a woman is older and he may or may not like her ability to embrace her own aging in that way.

Some women of course look stunning with gray hair. It's the right color for them. Others not so much. But there is more to love than hair color, and I think people pick who they love on other criteria.

Question from Denise: Are online dating sites good ways to meet people?

PS: I think so. You have to try different sites to see which ones feel comfortable for you, and which ones have tools that you think will create a better chance of a good relationship. There are also sites that are primarily about friendship or finding someone to do things with. And they are good introductions to social networking, and a good way to ease into trying an actual dating site.

Next: How many dates before sex comes into play? »

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