Question from June: What's a good movie to watch with my husband on Valentine's Day?
PS: Well June, I am prone to chick flicks but some husbands are not. But I like both versions of "An Affair to Remember" and AARP's Movies for Grownups has some good suggestions. I also like Something's Gotta Give with Diane Keaton. If you want a good friendship movie I recommend "The Bucket List." And "When Harry Met Sally" is a favorite. The classics are always good. You can't go wrong with Casablanca.
Comment from William: "Love is in the Air" with I forgot who…Bucket List for sure.
Question from Tom: I cook for my wife for Valentine's Day. This year though I've arranged for a catered meal. That should earn me some points, right?
PS: Way to go Tom! I'm going to show this one to my guy — just as gentle hint.
Question from Nancy: I like to volunteer on holidays. It takes my mind off things. Is that healthy or am I delaying the inevitable?
PS: Nancy I think that's a wonderful idea. I think whenever one is feeling a little down and you go out and help others you realize the satisfaction of giving, and also are grateful to be in the position of the giver rather than the needy. However, if this is a form of escape for you, either from your husband or from seeking companionship, then maybe it's a good time to think about changing that situation. It's always better to deal honestly with yourself. Ask yourself what is it that you need and aren't getting, and what to do about it.
I think it is perfectly acceptable to do something for others on Valentine's Day but it's particularly satisfying to do that as a couple. So if that's something you would like to be doing, think seriously now about how to make that happen.
Question from Charles: I can't be intimate with my wife because of health problems. What can I do?
PS: Charles, I think you can be intimate, but not in the traditional ways. Intimacy is far broader than just having intercourse. Kissing, touching, stroking, holding hands and finding other ways to please each other can all be wonderful substitutes of how you were in healthier days. We all get "skin hunger." We need to be touched, we need to be held. I think if you reapproach your wife with touching, hugging and kissing it will be great for the both of you.