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Make It a Valentine's Day to Remember

Expert advice on how to make this holiday extra special and keep it going all year long

Question from Linda: Is writing a love letter to my deceased husband morbid? My friends think I'm crazy, but I want to wish him a happy Valentine's Day.

PS: No Linda, I don't think it's morbid. I think it's touching and I understand why you would do it. When you talk to your partner, even when they are not there, you remember and celebrate the relationship you had. Why not embrace that feeling? When you celebrate Valentine's Day, just don't let the love you feel, keep you away from seeking companionship with other people eventually.

Question from William: Hi. My question for upcoming Valentine's Day is this: How best can I perpetuate the love I intend to show my wife year round?

PS: Oh, William, we love you for that question! I think the easiest and best way to do that is to have at least one dinner a week — home or out — where you celebrate your relationship by having an alcoholic or nonalcoholic toast to each other.

If that's not possible, then perhaps just an e-mail at least once a week that says I love you and I'm grateful for our relationship. Just these little rituals make a huge difference.

Question from Barbara: I'm from your hometown Pepper. Love Seattle! I just started dating someone. What are the wrong moves/things to say this Valentine's Day?

PS: Hi Homey! Great question Barbara. First tip: Don't say the dreaded "So where's this relationship going?" Just enjoy it and be warm and close. Listen more than talk and stay lighthearted. On Valentine's Day it is probably wise to let him be the one to say anything that intimates a deeper love, etc... Don't be upset if he doesn't say anything "meaningful," sometimes people want to resist the pressure of having to do anything significant on Valentine's Day.

Question from Thom: My girlfriend has been hinting for a pair of shoes. Is that a good gift for Valentine's Day?

PS: Hi Thom. Some questions make me glad I'm not a man, because I think it would be really hard for a guy to pick out shoes for a lady. I guess if that is what she wants, go shopping with her, but give her some indication of what you think is a reasonable amount to spend on shoes. You might be shocked at how expensive women's shoes can be. In fact, if you are not feeling good about spending substantial cash, you might want to pick out a different gift. A pair of diamond studs might be cheaper!

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