What's Your Family Story?

Oral history is the first step in tracing your ancestry

by: Tracee Hamilton, from: AARP, March 31, 2011

Yes, I have dates of births, marriages and deaths for these people now — but I also know that my Irish immigrant family sent the children over in pairs, two at a time, oldest and youngest, until the entire family was in America. That little nugget of information tells me a lot about the King family — and it makes me want to learn more.

And that, to me, is what makes genealogy fun — the stories, the small details, the people. That's why I encourage everyone I know to unearth the human element of their family history.

5 Tips for Researching Your Family Story

1. Read letters. And address books and birthday books and old obituaries, anything that will lead you to living people. My grandmother's address book led me to a cousin who had begun researching our family for Mayflower Society membership. Her health prevented her from finishing it, so she gave me an entire box of work. I would never have known about her without that address book.

2. Write letters. I needed to find descendants of a cousin named Benight who lived in Arkansas, so I wrote to every Benight I could find in the Arkansas phone books. (Sorry, Smiths, this won't work for you.) I sent a short, general letter outlining who I was, why I was writing and the bare minimum of family information. ("I think we share a great-grandfather. Are you descended from Peter King?") I included a self-addressed, stamped postcard and asked the recipient to return it. Of course, I also included my phone number and email address. Lo and behold, I got a call from a woman who was visiting her brother in Arkansas when the card arrived. Bingo!

3. Avoid cold calls. Don't dial up a complete stranger, telling her you're her fifth cousin once removed and pumping her for detailed personal information. People are rightly cautious with personal information, and the subject is not likely to have the information you want sitting by the telephone. If you must make first contact by phone, explain who you are, what you're working on and ask if you can arrange a mutually convenient time to talk.

4. Be prepared. No matter how you find that elusive cousin, prepare a list of questions for the interview. The conversation will veer off track on occasion, and you should let it; the best stories will pop up that way. But a list of questions will ensure you can get back on track and that when the interview is over, you'll have the information you need.

5. Keep digging. Don't give up after hearing one person's version of a family story. Double check with as many others you can find. Not sure how to track them down? Always, always ask this simple question: Is there anyone else in the family I should talk to? Every family seems to have a "keeper" of photos and information; you might not find that person the first time out.