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The Unique Role of Aunts and Uncles

7 ways you can make a positive impact on your neices and nephews

by: Amy Goyer, from: AARP, April 12, 2011

• Surrogate Parent. When mom and dad are busy or away, aunts and uncles can help fill the gap with extra attention, interest and affection, as well as practical help such as making meals, taking kids to appointments or helping with homework.

• Cheerleader. You keep up with their activities and goals; triumphs and failures. You don't assume — you ask how you can support them and are prepared to follow through. When they are experiencing disapproval from others, you find something to love about them. You are their fan, and they know it.

How to Bond With Nieces and Nephews

1. Be open. Listen more than you talk and be empathetic; don't push and be as neutral as possible.

2. Be trustworthy. Be clear that you will keep their confidences to yourself — unless they are in danger. Let their parents know that is your plan.

3. Be in contact. Text, call, Facebook, Skype — do whatever it takes to touch base frequently.

4. Be responsive. Offer to help, and actively respond when asked to do something.

5. Be available. Go to their school and sports or other extracurricular events, shopping trips, prom night, births and birthdays, weddings, firsts and other life milestones.

6. Be fun. You have the opportunity to be the fun aunt or uncle — take it!

7. Be interested. Meet them at their level about their interests. Learn about their hobbies and activities. Cheer them on!

8. Be yourself. Just be who you are. Nix the preaching and instructing — it won't work. You'll influence them most by how you live.

9. Be the bonus. If you can, help out with those little "extras" that can make big differences in their lives.

10. Be the receiver. Let them have the confidence booster and fun of helping you with things, too. Listen to their advice — it's a reciprocal relationship.