The Gift of Life

When I donated a kidney to my sister-in-law, our bond was forever sealed.

by: Mary Mohler, from: AARP, February 2, 2011

In July, I flew to Seattle for my final physical exam. I was in my early 60s and everything checked out. We settled on Aug. 31 as D-Day. The transplant team was so inspiring that I really wasn't scared — except maybe just a tiny bit right before anesthesia. As my kidney was being removed, Phylis would be prepped and waiting in the next-door operating room with her own surgical team.

"I owe you my life. I couldn't love you more if you were my own sister."

The five-hour surgery went smoothly, and the next thing I knew, I was looking at Puget Sound shimmering in the sunlight outside my window. Twenty-four hours after my surgery, feeling like I'd been kicked by a draft horse, I hobbled into Phylis' room. She motioned me over to her bed and gave me the biggest hug the welter of IVs, tubes and monitors would permit.

"I owe you my life," she said, with tears in her eyes. "I couldn't love you more if you were my own sister."

Suddenly, my tummy didn't hurt quite so much.

Three days later, I checked into a nearby hotel (hospital staffers want you close by for the first 10 days). Phylis joined me a day later, and we were in movie heaven for the next week. Recovery was faster than I imagined. After the first couple of weeks post-op, I was comfortable with an occasional Tylenol. Six weeks after the surgery, I enrolled in class to learn gatka, Indian martial arts. Now, after six months, I'm back to doing everything I used to do. Phylis was back working part time at her job as travel agent after six weeks. Her doctor recently pronounced that her post-transplant constitution is that of a 50-year-old, not the 70-year-old she really is.

I won't lie to you: The post-op pain was a thing to be reckoned with for the first week or two, but it was nothing that couldn't be handled with medication. Besides, that part was so brief. What I really remember, and always will, is that I participated in a miracle. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

What Every Living Donor Needs to Know

More than 110,000 Americans are on the transplant waiting list, and that number increases every month.
You're never too old to donate; a healthy 70-year-old makes a better donor than a 30-year-old who smokes.
Kidney donation is major surgery. Besides your transplant center's informed consent process, you may want to connect with other living donors through the National Kidney Foundation to help you make this important decision.
Make sure the transplant center you choose has experience with living donor transplants. The United Network for Organ Sharing compiles statistics on every transplant center in the United States.
The recipient's insurance will usually cover your evaluation, surgery and post-op care but not travel costs, lodging or lost wages. If this presents a financial hardship, the National Living Donor Assistance Center may be able to help with expenses up to $6,000.
Some donors have had difficulty changing insurance carriers after the surgery. Ask your donor advocate to help you find out about the potential effect of kidney donation on your own health or life insurance coverage.
Bring your own advocate to the hospital — a spouse, family member or trusted friend — to see you through your stay there. Hospitals, even the best of them, make mistakes; you need someone with you who can pay attention to the details and isn't afraid to speak up.