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I'm 59. My husband is 10 yrs. older and had a stork 5 yrs ago that left him paralyzed on his left side. He needs 24/7 care, so now lives in a Nursing Home. I am alone in our house with our dog. I know how you feel. I too will not grow old with my husband able to do things together. I still work and visit him nearly everyday. He is not the same person and I am a visitor. It's very painful. We married young and I never lived alone as a young adult, so I feel like I'm doing so now-but this is better because I'm so much wiser now about life. All I can suggest is to pursue some personal things on your own that make you happy. It took me a long time to realize there was no "us" anymore. So I go out and do a lot of things I like to do, many on my own if I can't find someone to do it with me. It's very hard and it hurts when I think of how much he is missing, but I can't change it. I hope you can reach a point where you can let go of the anger. Do you have a place to go be alone with your thoughts? One thing I did in the early years was a lot of crying and screaming into a pillow (so I wouldn't frighten my neighbors). It felt good to get it out of my system. I eventually wore myself down from anger and reached a point when I could finally let go. I hope you can find a way to do the same so you can move on and do some living.