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I'd like to add that since Caregiving in any form is stressful, it is easy to focus only on those times. Don't forget to cherish the good moments with your loved one.
Another thing to remember is that those who won't help with caregiving, miss the choice moments with the loved one. Let it go and do what you can do in the caregiving package. I was mom's sole caregiver because my siblings lived farther away. But I had all the blessings that does go with caregiving. I got her hugs and saw the light in her eyes when I came in.
When there is friction between siblings or others regarding caregiving, make your own choices. No one else can make them for you. No one can make you do anything. It does help if the caregiver has the "power of attorney" for the loved one.
Try to Simplify your life so you can be a caregiver. You might not be able to be president of three clubs if you are and still be a caregiver. Some things we can trim from our busy schedule. Decide what you are willing to trim. You still need fun times.
These are a few tips I would offer to new caregivers.
You are absolutely right. Your Mom was lucky to have you. The Power of Attorney is very important. Some of the services won't talk to you or value your input with out it. Doctors, there will be many, will ask my Mom questions about her health history. I use to jump in right away to correct her inaccurate information. Now I wait, give them a few minutes of conversation with my Mom. Then I correct the information. I do this for two reasons; sometimes they want to assess her mental capassity with the conversation. Sometimes they feel you are being pushy and frankly it hurts my feelings when I get this reaction. (hate to sound like a wimp! I have learned much in 14 yrs.) Relatives have many ideas without the experiences the sole caregivers have. It is important to know this is their way of trying to be helpful in most cases. There is always the person who is adamint about how you should do something but usually these people don't last long if they are given the task to perform. It is a whole different world being the 24/7 caregiver. Your compassion and understanding for the professional caregivers in facilities changes 100% when you become the sole cargiver. To care for more than one individual everyday has got to be overwhelming at times, they are usually responsible for many.
You feel like you are taking away some of your parents freedom when you need to get a Power of Attorney document but they slowly loose their ability to make many decisions. I remember one wonderful Doctor that explained to me when I just couldn't understand my Dad's behavior that to picture his brain crumbling. These weren't chosen behaviors they were all his crumbling brain was capable of doing. This really helps when your loved one's whole personality starts changing.