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This is more my opinion of what I would have done. The fitrst thing I would have done would have been not to move away from my kids to come back and "try" to take care of my parents. Had I not moved, I think my parents may have moved where I was living. Being their only "caregiver" has caused me a great deal of stress, even though they still live alone in their own home. I worry about them all the time and my mother, who is my dad's caregiver, only listens to me when she wants to. Yet, she wants me to be there for her every wish. It's like being a child again. I feel as though, I can't go on vacations, that I always have to be available in case they need me for an emergency. Dad has health problems and demenitia and should be in a nursing home. At the same time, I can see that just placing him in one would most likely cause him to die. So, my mom, my husband and I are all sort of living in a prision without walls. I love my parents, but all they seem to think about is what they want! Not what we all need, which is more help taking care of them. My mom won't hire anyone. She takes 1/2 day off once a week, when I go over. Then my husband and I go over on the weekends. However, mom calls me all the time, just thinking of things for me to do. Things that really aren't important! I think she does get stressed out being with my dad all day(He watches CNN all day long with the volume as high as he can get it). He won't bath and sometimes even refuses to change his depends.
If mom won't hire anyone, only wants me to come and stay with dad one day a week. There is nothing I can do to relieve her stress and there is nothing that relieves mine, either. They stayed with us for about 6 months when they house was being repaired after a lite flood. It was actually easier having them here, then being 30 mins away. How do you handle the mental stress of dealing with elderly parents like this?