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I sympathize with you both soooooo much! I LIVE with my Mom, whom like you, love very much! I haven't been taking good care of myself for the past year. Mom is paraplegic with curling hands & can do very little except eat after you cut up her food. She can't bathe, brush teeth, roll on her own or dress herself. It is constant care. On top, I just moved to a bigger place to accomodate her & give her some privacy because she was in our living room.
I, like you have serious health issues & am stressed to the max. I also snap & fell very guilty out of respect.
I think people can give you all the suggestions they want, but we have to grin & bear our duties & remind ourselves, we WANT to do this for them. I try to incorporate my sister whenever she can for things I do not like to perform....nail cutting, etc. that gives me a few minutes of playwith my niece/nephew. That usually takes me out of the funk! I try to get as much alone time as I can to cry, think, play games on the computer, atnything to get my mind off the situation!