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I know how you feel. Mine ended after 29 years and it sounds like it was very simular to yours. For me though first there was a huge shift in power. I became gravely ill and perminatly disabled. My ex thought this was a good time to revert to abusing me physicaly again. Our middle daughter finally asked me why did I stay so long. After getting past knowing that my children knew what was going on. That finally started me thinking. I had a old friend and he offered me a place to go. I knew I had to go to another state so he could not find me. I have been on my own for 2 years now and I wish I had left him so long ago. Yes, It has been very hard at times, but I have never been this happy before. One thing, when I told my friends I was leaving him and moving away. Not one of them asked me why. They already knew. My life is so different now. I do what I want to when I want to. I have some issues I have been tring to work through. I miss seeing my girls. They are all grown up now and so busy in their lives. I wish I had left years ago. I hope you are happier too. In Response to Why My Marriage Will Come To an End After 31 Years:
Our marriage had been "in trouble" since before we married. We never should have been married. Over the years, when the timing would have been right for a divorce, one event after another happened to make me feel I had to wait. My husband is Catholic and would never be the one to file. First a child, then a business failure, then he had serious health issues for over two years resulting in a leg amputation, then I had the great experience of traveling around the world with him for his job, then I had cancer, then he lost his job, and another one and another one. The money I had saved to start a new life had to be used to pay bills. We have never had a "real" loving marriage, just stayed together for convenience. My 90 year-old Mother has been aware of the situation (which includes emotional and verbal abuse on his part) for years and asked me the ultimate quesiton - "Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?". So like many long time couples - our son is now 29 - after soul-searching, I answer that question "no" and gather the courage to move forward.
Posted by pc1174