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I just discovered this group and wonder if anyone is in the Chicago area? It will be 3 years on April 1st since my Ex announced he needed "space" a week before our 40th anniversary. Without knowing really what was going on, that was the last straw, I acted quickly, sold my house, divorced within 6 months. A year later within 2 days, I learned he'd fathered a child at the age of 63 with a women his daughter's age, and that I had breast cancer. I am one year post lumpectomy and finally feel like I'm getting on my feet. NOW he wants to start renegotiating the maintenance payments since "he can't work forever" at the age of 66 with a 3 year old to support (no remarriage). Fortunaltely I still work but have a very stressful and all-consuming profession meant for a younger woman. (I still have a lot of energy, and a positive, spiritual outlook.) However, this new challenge plunged me once again into the depths of insecurity - as a large part of our issue was always financial, and I have no idea how I will live when his income and mine are gone in a few years. So I experienced the wake-in-the-middle of the night doom and dread.
Instead of staying there, I'm considering life-style options - a room-mate or creating a community of women living alone - together. I started surfing the web on that topic and low and behold - I found other women doing the same thing and then I found YOU.
So - is there anyone in the Chicago area - and have you ever entertained this idea? I have never lived alone in my LIFE before this - and although I am successful, confident, vibrant and happy 63 year old - I know this is NOT how I want to live the rest of my life. NOr can I afford to maintain a beautiful home alone. Sharing resources and friendship with like-minded women would be preferable.
There are several of us on the same cruise ship. I have been divorced for nearly 7 months and mine discovered he was gay. So after 37 years of marriage, I contacted an attorney, packed some things and left. I have never been on my own either but thankfully I had a 20 year old son that came with me and has helped get through the adjustment. In my divorce, I got a larger portion of his pension when he is at retirement age and that will help. Are you sure you want to pursue the community living arrangement? You might want to rethink that option and maybe find an apartment that is substidized in some way. There are beautiful apartments out there that have that type of plan. See if you can find any programs like that. These apartments are in regular apartment complexes and there are certain guidelines. Noone knows what each is paying and there is a formula for the rent. I am doing just that and I love my apartment. The loniness goes away and I have found high school friends after 40 years. I am active with that gtoup as well as church and family.
Think about the apartment lifestyle before you jump into the community or roommate idea. Let me know how it works out for you.