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Wow- I never expected such quick replies. You ladies are incredible - you see what I mean? I found someone in my neck of the woods, and you all have such great stories and advice. I certainly will not renegotiate my payments with my EX unless forced to do that - but at the end of the day, no one can make him keep working at his age if he decides to retire or something, and then there isn't money there to continue my payments at this level for sure. Nor pension, nor retirement. We created a financial mess as a couple and that was a very large part of "his" problem (he's a lawyer) - so it was needless. ANYWAY, it is what it is and I need to see him for the first time in a few years to try to figure out what's going on in his head and assess my situation. I also know there are great low-rent or cost apartments or condo's out there and that is certainly an option. But, even though I have a ton of friends and can be out on the go constinently, at the end of the day, there is no one here who would care if I didn't come home. And that bugs me. That is "family." Okay ladies, thank you so much for your comments.
Good luck Cookie.. Yes, divorce is such a mess, financially, emotionally, spirtually, and physically. I thought I could trust my ex-husband, a former vice-president of a Savings and Loan, to get us out financially, but, he has only thought of what was and is best for him. As a result of my trust, I am stuck in a beautiful home, but, can't seem to sell it and get out w/o being still tied to the mortgage. This house is like having a child. I'm divorced, but, still tied financially. Total frustration..