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Thanks for sharing your situation. You need to call a lawyer ASAP. Even if divorce is not the end result, you need to get an idea of what you could expect if it comes to that.
Before calling a lawyer, snoop around and find out what kind of assets you/he have. Make copies of things, too. Then, armed with this information, call that lawyer.
You don't have to stay chained in a marriage like that just because of finacial reasons. And, you shouldn't stay because it's obvious that your self-esteem is suffering, too. Do you have any friends that live near that you can talk to about this?
Thanks for the advice. Don't have family here for emotional support, they all live downstate. I will keep you posted.