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Well, I made it through Christmas without too much sadness. Being with my children and my Son-in-laws family certainly did help.
Didn't have a problem until Christmas night when I heard my Daughter on the phone with her father. I have to admit that as much as I encourage both my children to remain close to their father, I become very jealous and upset when I hear them talking with him and laughing. It hurts so bad to know that he is happy.
I know it's normal for me to want him to be unhappy, but I do wish I wouldn't feel this way. It makes my life miserable when I wish for another to be unhappy. I'm hoping that after the divorce is final, and I start my new life, I will cease wishing ill on him. However, I know that is going to take a very long time. After all, I was with this man for over 40 years. He's the only man I was ever intimate with and he threw me away like a piece of garbage.
I'm looking forward to starting to date after the divorce. Hoping that will change my attitude towards him.
Hope everyone else got through Christmas without too much sadness!