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In Response to How were your children affected by your late-life divorce? by kirbyssister.
I have three adult children. All married with children of their own. After 31 years of an very unhappy marriage, I grew a spine and walked off. My daughter had been married less than a week. I had been planning this departure for several years, made arraingements for a new apartment and then my daughter decided to get married. My children did not know of my plans, nor did the X. So it was a shocker to say the least.
My oldest son had said many times," Mom why do you let him do this to you?" So when I told him that I had left, he asked "Why did you do this?". All of my children had been victim to his rantings, ravings, physical and emotional abuse as was I.
My oldest son, has stopped talking to me, told me not to contact him or his family, that I was not the woman that raised him. His wife still has contact with me and I get to see my grandchildren every two months or so. My youngest son and daughter have been kind and accepting of my decision to leave and divorce.
It will be one year in January that my son has stopped communicating with me. I am giving it til then and if he so chooses to ignore me, I will be taking his name off of any kind of benefits upon my death and placing it in his childrens name.
My therapist seems to be in agreement with me that he is fearful of his own marriage and that his wife might do the same with their marriage. It makes him very uneasy and threatened.
I love my children and I miss my son and daughter-in-love and grandchildren dearly. But, I must be happy for the first time in 35 years. He has to understand that at one point in his life. I hope it is during my lifetime as well.
Any helpful hints as to what I should do?