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I totally understnad. My husband of, at that time, of 35 years told me he wanted a divorce. He kept lying to me for about 6 months after I moved out until I stopped by the house and this woman'w purse was on the couch. She hid upstairs while I was there. I know her, I thought she was a friend of ours, little did I know she was after my husband!! I don't think he fought too hard!! He had been cheating with her probably at least a year befor he got up nerve to tell me. I TRUSTED him, like I have no other man. I also don't know if I will ever be able to trust another man and I doubt I will ever get married again. The funny thing is, she is older than I am, fatter than I am, and looks like his mother!!! I moved out 3 years ago (long story) but our divorce was just final last October. He married her on New Year's Day, they diserve each other.
My two cats are all that kept me alive for a while. I saw a therapist for a while but I didn't really feel that she was helping much. Also, I found out who my REAL friends were, I lost a couple of friends that we had as couples, I expected to lose some, but I didn't expect to be treated like I had a contagious disease!!
Looking back, I really am happier now. I didn't realize how unhappy I was with him, until I wasn't with him. Friends of mine say I seem much happier now. I still have no real interest in dating, even though I have gone to some singles things. The idea of being intimate with a man again just freaks me out. I do like being on my own now, just me and my 2 cats. We do what we want, when we want. It will get better, even though it doesn't seem like it for you right now. I am still trying to stop hating the two of them