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Troubles, you said, "Some days I feel like I'm losing my mind a little towards crazy.."
Don't be too concerned; questioning of one's sanity is normal in the grief process. We are told by experts that the death of someone very close, especially if sudden or unexpected, is an assault upon our logic.
Most do not normally dwell upon death. Daily, the vast majority are too busy living and enjoying their lives. Death is a distant thought or occasionally a brief reminder of human mortality with the passing of an elderly neighbor or a retiree from the workplace.
In movies and on television, most have a happy ending: the good guys win; the couple marry and live happily ever after; the young boy or girl become an adult success achieving fame and fortune. I'm not suggesting we live in a dream world since it's a good thing, a healthy thing, to think in positive terms and be constructive in our actions.
Life is living with all that it suggests: love, work, play, and so on. The loss of a spouse, a parent, a child, or a close friend defies or interrupts our "living," but only temporarily.
You are not losing your mind; you are grieving!
That, I do know.
Peace, Duane(OF) In Response to I Don't know by troubles