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I have helped so many times. My son resently divorced a woman who he has a child by that was hooked on drugs. He has the child. He is a business owner but spends more money in a month then most people spend in a year. He has lied so many times to me and his father that I can't count. He spoils his child to the point it's crazy. Thinks nothing of giving his 12 years old a credit card and send him and his friends off. He will blow and engine or tranmission or something to do with his business and promise me. I am going to pay this back in a month. I'm going to stay home more not eat out every night or go out all the time. I have this money coming in a month and will pay you back in full or will pay this amount and it turns out you get 1/10th of what he said.The last incident was 17,000 dollars on a credit card. Now he has not keep his word. He just brought a sports car. I told him if he registers it I will see to it he don't drive it even if I go to jail. I'm tired of a child that is verbally abusive to me and lies. If by the grace of god if I get my money back I will never loan him a dime. I have learned my lesson! I'm considering moving to get away from the pain of all the problems. The bad part I helped him by the place next door because he begged. All his problems come to my house. I think e should just sell and move and not leave a forwarding address. I know what your thinking but you have not watched your son go from the greatest kid get married at 21 and turn into a selfish, uncareing person who thinks only of himself. He bases his relationships on how much money someone has. He thinks his life was so poor growing up. I think that we had food on the table a roof over our head and clothes on our backs. Parent who helped him with his business every step of the way. parents who loved him.He wanted everything given to him. I right now need surgery with no insurance. I can't afford to put it on a credit card because i might have to pay his bill. I don't qualify for services and can't afford insurance. I have another son who was a terror as a teenager but he went in the military and is a great kid. Married with a couple of kids and loves us dearly. We have a good family relationship. Don't ever think not my child or your in for a rude awakeing.
I feel a great deal of sympathy for you. I just posted below about helping our son buy his first home. But this boy was an absolute terror growing up, and I truly thought I would not see or hear from him until he was 30, it was that bad!! I agree that you are actually enabling his bad behavior by giving him money. Good for you to stop it, and tell him your money is tied up and you have nothing extra to "loan" out. Don't be punitive, because if you burn bridges now, there is no way for him to get back to you later, and he might just want to do that. Focus on making yourself healthy: your son's twisted perception of reality is NOT YOURS!! Good luck!