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I wonder if the anxiety about cancer will ever leave me. It has been 3 years since my last chemo for ovarian cancer. I am always anxious before and after the CA-125 blood test. This week I experienced some bleeding even though I am post menopausal and have had a hysterectomy. A polyp was removed and now here I am again waiting for a pathology report. I try to keep busy to distract myself. I try to hear again the doctor's words, "Don't worry." He did say that he understands why I might be scared having had cancer, but that vaginal cancer is uncommon. I am to call tomorrow for the results. I feel like I am frozen in time. The thing is, is this the way it will always be? Living from test to test. Has anyone had any success with NOT being anxious so often? I am hesitant to make plans until I have test results. It is as though the cancer is controlling my life. I thought that after chemo and after my hair grew back that life would get back to 'normal." I am beginning to think that that is not possible. That normal now will be a different kind of normal.
HI MY FRIEND TIARA, I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU ARE HAVING A BAD TIME WITH ANXIETY. I HAVE ANXIETY ALSO BUT I REFUSE IT TO TAKE CONTROL OF ME. THAT IS EASIER TO SAY.....I AM IN REMISSION NOW AND I DONT FEEL ANY ANXITY OVER HAVING THE CANCER. I HAVE LEARNED FROM A TWELVE STEP PROGRAM THAT I CAN ONLY LIVE FOR THIS DAY ONLY AND NOT TO WORRY THE NEXT DAY TILL ITCOMES. ACTUALLY AS I AM THINKING ABOUT GETTING CANCER AGAIN MY FEELINGS ABOUT IT ARE NUMBED. I GUESS I FEEL THAT IT IS OVER BUT READING ALL THE POSTS I AM BEGINING TO COME TO A RELIZATION THAT IT MIGHT RETURN. I WILL DEAL WITH IT THEN.
I HOPE YOUR HAVING A BLESSED DAY. LOVE YOU