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I am one that has not posted very often but I do follow the posts. The cancer community is special for so many reasons and the closeness of a bond like cancer seems odd to many of those on the "outside". What they do not understand is that no matter what differences we have, we share a will to fight, collectively, against something that we had little understading of before we were diagnosed.
We've learned or are learning a new language starting with the extraordinary word, oncology and progressing from there to mastectomy, the stages of cancer, Adriamycin, or Taxol, or Xeloda or a thousand other words each corresponding to the type of cancer we have. I have been learning the words connected to metastasis for almost a year after thinking I might have beaten the beast. My doctors were wise in that they would not take out my chemo port (another word I've learned).
I've heard of and from people in the medical community that have worked with cancer patients most of their careers and they quickly admit they had no real understanding of what we go through until they became members of our community. Sadly, cancer doesn't even respect those in medical profession trying to help us beat the cancer.
To know simply the panic of being diagnosed, the shock one goes through at each progression of the disease, the sleepless nights when we agonize over the "what ifs", the frustration with wanting to know and not wanting to know the results of the latest tests, not to mention the changes our bodies and emotions go through. It's enough to drive most anyone to the edge, but we hang in there, encouraging each other with kind words and an honest wish that an answer can be found while we're still able to try just one more thing. One more chemotherapy, one more surgery, one more pill, one more surgery, one more blast of radiation.
I start a new chemo on the twenty-eighth as the one I've been on is not working and the cancer has spread even farther. I will face the upcoming spring hairless, again, but if that's the worst I go through, i know I can handle it. After all, I've done that number twice before, already. My hair has grown in to about three inches long from the last loss and I'm at the point of keeping my hats in extra good shape because I know they will still ge lots of use.
Tiara, I feel like so much of an outsider to most posts because I am not a religion believer. Your post that I'm responding to was so refreshing as you addressed the fact that there may be some on here that do not "practice, prayers". Some try to put me on a guilt trip because of that but there are many believing practioners that also have cancer. It seems to care not what our age, color, sex, beliefs, family members or any other differences we may have, count for. So in this season of holidays and celebrations, my best to you and all the rest and may the upcoming year find that fewer and fewer have reason to post here. Wouldn't that be grand?
i did not know you were a member of our cancer family and i hope you manage to do well in your upcoming and continued treaments.........you are so right about cancer sparing no one special group.i worked in the medical field for 27 years with children and many that were receiving chemo.........i did not know then but have since learned that no one truly understands the physical punishment and emotional trauma we go through unless you've been there.a member of my family once reassured as she had a mastecomy and she understood what i was going through .she did not have chemo or radiation and i told her."you have no idea how i feel"...you've not been there...having chemo puts it in an entirely new ballfield...and i really believe that !!!!!
topcat....i am not a deep down religious person either and i feel exactly as you do.........i do believe in prayers and wanting to ask God to help my friends tho.........i've always believed that if God really exists you don't need to go to church...........that he would know what's in your heart and respect your wishes...........he may not always answer them but i guess he has his reasons and we need to help ourselves sometimes by being strong and doing all we can ,to put up a good fight and be proud to know we gave it our all.............there are many days i wonder why i keep going on.......but i always hope that in the end i can enjoy the life i had before and i must forge on as no ones going to do all this for me.
i hope and wish the best for everyone in this family...........in the new years..........thanks to all you who have been kind enough to write me and help me in my struggles with this demon..........