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I agree with Tom and John 100% and would like to add that if we get out there and participate in things we enjoy doing for the pure enjoyment of fun for ourselves we increase our chances of meeting someone face to face and developing a friendship and like Tom said if it turns into some thing more then great. The time is not wasted because you enjoyed the activity the friendship or relationship is a bonus. Life is to short to limit one's self to church and on line. I have joined www.meetup.com they have tons of groups nationwide with activities from civil war re-enactment to singles groups, bowling groups, motor-cycle groups, cross stitch groups and the list goes on. There is something for everyone and if there isn't something there start one and see what happens.
As for baggage, yes we all have baggage however how we choose to handle that baggage is what makes it bad. You can have a ton of buttons that could be touched and most likely many of them will be pushed sooner or later but it is how we choose to respond to those buttons being pushed is what counts. I just finished going to a Life Enrichment Boot Camp where they help you to get rid of your "baggage" .". the fewer things you have in your baggage to deal with in a new relationship the better. That is why I went. I lost my husband 3.5 years ago and didn't want to go into a new relationship with more baggage than I should. It was an awesome experience I highly recommend.
While there are many advantages to being married let's not romanticize it to much. It is hard on going work to keep a marriage vibrant and healthy so that it does not end in divorce. As iron sharpens iron so to do two people in marriage. No one on earth can press your buttons like a spouse who knows you intimately. So if we give a new person in our lives fewer buttons to push that is a good thing.
When it comes to a latent memory of our former spouse being triggered mysteriously that makes us pause in remembrance for our loved one, that is not baggage and that is not a button. Anyone who would describe this as such has never lost a spouse they love and would never understand your better off without this person. But thank God there are others who do understand and you have already met a few of them here. Welcome to the group!