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I've never allowed a woman to make any changes in my living space. I've always felt it was sacrosanct, my male cave so to speak. I think it was also about trust for me, or lack of it.
I sold my home six months ago and decided to move into a small cottage at the beach overlooking San Francisco Bay. It's a tiny space I share with my golden retriever, Duke. The panoramic views of San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge, the mountains, and the sound of the water lapping at the shore, all lend this small cottage a magical quality.
Sarah came over this weekend and mentioned she'd been thinking about how to maximize my small space and make it feel bigger and more comfortable. Oddly, I didn't bristle. I didn't get anxious or nervous either. I already trusted her to the point that I said, "Sure, have at it."
She moved furniture around, hammered and nailed some light fixtures, put some stuff in my storage shed, moved all the furniture, tossed a few extraneous items, and by the time she was finished, my small space looked and felt bigger by half, and felt way warmer too.
I never would have thought that trust played such a major role in allowing Sarah to redecorate, but in the end, it was entirely about trust for me. I didn't balk because I realize my way of doing business in relationships needed some reorganizing, some redecorating. It was way past time for me to trust unconditionally.
I feel trust is the major factor that determines whether or not a relationship survives and flourishes. I'd like to hear from people who faced trust issues in a relationship and handled them well enough that the relationship didn't crater. Or, if it did crater, what lessons would you share with everyone?
What were the trust issues? Whose issue was it? Was it resolved in a manner that you and your partner remained together?