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I'm so sorry you lost your friend. How old were you? At any age this hurts. I'm glad you "let it out!"
Berta, In answer to "how old was I", that's a question I can't really answer. I know I was younger than 10, I think I was older than 5, but I really don't remember. My Grandmere, always got custody of me, back away from my birth mother, who always lost custody of me usually after trying to kill me, or abandoning me. I was taken away from her in about half of the states in the union, placed in foster care, my granny came eventually and got me, then my mother (who was her youngest child and spoiled rotten) would come with a sob story and swear she was going to change and get help, really all she wanted me for, was the welfare money of having an extra child or her latest scam, she had more birth certificates on me than I can remember and when I found all those, she threatened to kill me. Yeah, so time was messed, shool years are a blur, marking time is hard, where I lived is a blurr, moving in the middle of the night, being roused in the middle of the night and being told we were leaving, sometimes in our pajama's was as common as breathing.