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Have you ever felt or actually been abandoned? Abandonment does not have to be a physical occurrence and it doesn’t even have to be a fact. It’s how you felt at the time. Did you lose your mother in a crowded store or at the playground? Did you feel let down by a family member or friend who previously supported you in some way? Did you join a support group only to discover they weren’t what they claimed to be?
When my first husband died I felt abandoned. And yet he didn’t choose to die. He didn’t deliberately leave me. But that’s how I felt, as illogical as it may have been.
After his death, I joined a Widow and Widower’s club. I sought the comfort of people who were going through the same problems as I was. Logically I know that many of these support groups do amazing work in helping people to cope. I guess this was the support group from hell. I had been told there was group counseling available, speakers who discussed grief, and fellowship to ease the loneliness.
At 42, I was the youngest widow by at least ten years. The men in the group immediately turned their attentions to me and the women were unfriendly to say the least. The counseling was just the group itself, with no therapist, sitting around rehashing problems that often had nothing to do with grief. The speakers were interesting and spoke on a variety of subjects that had little to do with what I was going through. The fellowship, except for a few of the men, was non-existent. I lasted through two months of meetings every Monday evening before I left and never returned. I was hurt and disillusioned and I felt emotionally abandoned.
There are any number of ways to feel abandoned and any number of reasons why you do. I hope you’ll share one or more of your own memories.