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I have not been writing much lately. I have tried to examine my reason because I have always loved writing so much. I came to the conclusion that I have rebelled.
I have always been one of the most dependable people that anyone can know. This has been in my family. If you want someone to take charge, run errands, plan events, then Soosie is the one you call on.
At work, if there is a new task, Soosie will handle it. If not one knows how it should be handled, don't worry because Soosie will research the matter until there is an answer.
At Toastmasters, I barely got my second speech completed before I was elected Secretary. Then, the President put my name down without my consent for a humorous speech contest. I won on several levels and this tied my entire Saturdays up for a number of weeks. It was fun to be in the contests and I was flattered to be thought good enough to compete, but darn it I was doing this before I had much training as a speaker at Toastmasters. Then I soon learned that not all members are dependable. I had boldly put my name down to do my first evaluation of a speaker. The person that I thought that I would be evaluating did not show and I ended up doing my first evaluation of the District Governor. In all honesty, I do not find him to be a good speaker, but I was not bold enough to get up and honestly evaluate him. I lied and hated doing it.
Oh, did I mention that the President was absent that night? The next day when I was up to my backside in Payroll, she called me to ask how the previous night went. I did not have time to give her a play by play and told her so. Later she said that she had never seen me like that. I told her that I am tired. She said that I need time to nurture me. Then she asked me to take on another task. SOOO, now I am in rebellion stage.
I want to learn not to show up, to say no to new duties, to take long lunches and breaks and to not really give a rat's behind.
Have any of you ever reached this stage? I know that it is called "burn out." I think that my "burn out" was causing me to be "burned up" because I was finding some pretty insensitive people around me. I am also mad at myself because I did not set proper boundaries around myself. Now, I seem to have a ten foot fence set. I need to find a good balance.