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There is an interesting recurring dream I've had.
It begins as I am walking in a fog that quickly becomes a mist. Ahead I can see a great pasture, that becomes more
colorful as I walk towards it. The sky is a bright sparkling blue like I have never seen in waking hours. The grass is
a shade of kelly green with an additional light inside that makes it shiny. There is a red picket fence along its width
and on the other side of the barrier are some people. There are a few people right alongside the fence but behind
them there are 50 or more individuals of various ages. I think I know some of them. I see my mother, my childhood
best friend, my aunts and uncles. I realize they are deceased. I'm excited and yet afraid to go forward. Where am I?
In that moment, I am distracted by a beautiful park full of roses and gardenias of every conceivable type and color laid
out in rectangular patches according to type. The fragrance waifs aloft and to me. I cannot resist it. I hesitate but
decide to walk ahead. I can see benches in little conversation clusters in this paradisical garden. I chose a bench
and sit down to enjoy the surroundings when a being approaches me on the right. I don't know how to describe this
entity of energy except that it was comprised of colors always moving and it felt loving. Now, I realize, I'm dreaming!
'Will I remember this?' I ask.
'Some.' She answers.
'Come with me.' She beckons with her hand. She glistens. I am drawn to her and follow obediently. She is leading
me across what seems to be a mountain, it feels effortless so I look down at my feet. I am floating on the air and it
feels like I was riding the wind. There are trees of various colors of blue and green and burgundy beneath me. We
were coming to a large body of water and we were settling down to walk. I'm getting used to this.
'Where am I going?' I wonder.
'You are going where you design that you are going.' She responds but it isn't in speech, I just understand her
'You mean that I choose what happens to me? In life it doesn't seem that I've had much choice.'
She smiles and says 'not choosing is also a choice. When you do nothing that is a choice.
In that case, you choose to give the power to others to do the choosing for you.'
'Hey, I'm Italian, I grew up in New York and went to convent schools. I had to do what I was told.
At least I thought so. I didn't choose to be an only child and for my mother to die when I was 18.'
'that was her choice my dear. It sure made you grow up fast, didn't it? She said.
'I was really angry with her for a long time maybe I still am.'I said
'my lifelong problem of feeling helpless with making decisions was really about making choices wasn't it? I said.
My guide to didn't respond.
'What am I to do? I feel lost there seems to be no one to tell me what to do anymore.'I begin to cry.
My guide circles around me and pointes to the body of water nearby.'If you cross the pond of water as if it was your
subconscious you can begin to design what it is that you want ,as you swim to the other side. There are many things
consider at this time of your life. Ponder well the ramifications
of your choices on others as a well as yourself.'
I walked over to the edge of the water and started wading in. I could feel the water rising around me. When I was
fully immersed......... I woke up!
Suddenly I was in the body of an old woman who looked like my mother. Is this me?