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Hello, all. I wanted to address the issues of SUBTLE, UNRECOGNIZED (by those in charge) dementia. This is what I had to deal with (in my first husband; the dementia was a result of multiple sclerosis). The difficult -- indeed, impossible -- thing was, he passed psych-eval upon psych-eval, so was considered "competent" -- even after accusing me of stealing $42,000 from him (I merely used money from our joint savings account. As many of you probably know, paranoia concerning money is a common symptom of dementia, and the closer the accused is to the accuser, the more accusation of stealing money there is). So, he was considered "competent" enough to manage his financial affairs -- and to re-direct his disability and social security checks into an account which he set up specially for him -- and out of reach for me and our four children.
I was scared. (I hired a lawyer.) Anyway, this is one of the "themes" of my new memoir, which you might be interested in. It's called Still the End: Memoir of a Nursing Home Wife -- available from the publisher at http://www.unlimitedpublishing.com/cohen (That's me, Marion Cohen.) This new (not a month old yet) book is actually the sequel to my previous memoir Dirty Details: The Days and Nights of a Well Spouse (Temple University Press, PA) -- which describes my family's life BEFORE nursing home placement. (There were what I called "nights, lifting, and toilet", and "dire straits", but no serious dementia yet, or no financial abuse...)
These books (especially the sequel, Still the End) might be helpful, and validating, to some of you so I thought I'd let you know about them. If you like attitude, I think you'll like my books!
Best to everybody, Marion (Deutsche Cohen)