This forum post is hidden because you have chosen to ignore PattiMac. Show Details
This forum post is hidden because you have submitted an abuse report against it. Show Details
I dont know if I had shared with any of you the tragedy that had taken place in our life. My son in law who had been married to my daughter was in the military. He worked on the jets, helped load bombs, etc. He was in the Navy. They had been married a little over 3 years. For 3 years my daughter and he tried to conceive. Both thought something was wrong with them after trying. I told them they had tried too hard for something so simple. Just enjoy your young marriage and each other and you will be blessed. One day my daughter had called me after her doctors appointment, she was pregnant. Everyone was elated to say the least. But as time wore on, she had a miscarriage going into her 3rd month. Everyone was saddened by the loss, but I was very sad for my daughter having had 3 miscarriages myself, I know what it does to a woman. He was great to her tending her every need and being very supportive. He was also a big nerd, always playing jokes, laughing, teasing her and us, he was such a great catch for her. He was always smiling, laughing and goofing around. He was so funny, charming and very handsome with his dark blonde hair and the most beautiful blue eyes. He was a shy country boy from Texas and so well mannered with that southern style that make women swoon, and he was a cowboy to boot! It was easy for me to see what a catch he was, so full of life too. They were so happy together and we couldnt be more pleased.
She and my son in law decided to try again. This time she found out she was pregnant, but also found out at the same time, my son in law was to be shipped to Iraq. It was bittersweet to say the least. She was 6 months pregnant when he had to leave overseas. They wrote to each other feverishly. We sent home packages of his favorites foods and snack that were allowed on board. He wrote about the horror he saw, the sounds he heard of the bombs, the jets placing attacks and hitting their targets. He swore he could hear screams from the ship as he stood on the flightdeck. He saw fire all around, bombs hitting targets, noises he could not keep out of his head. After 6 months he came home for a month and was to be shipped out again for a year. When he came home after the 6 months we notice a big change in him. He was darker, moody, and kept to himself. He didnt smile, he didnt joke around. He did help her with the baby for 2 weeks. But we could see that he was troubled. We tried to talk to him, my husband is an addiction counsler and tried to talk to him as he would our own sons. I, who was close to him like a mom, tried to get him to confide in me, or to call his brothers, or sister or even his mom. He didnt want to talk about it. But I did get him to call and set up some counseling, but because its the military, it would not be for another 5 months for his appointment, and by then he would be on a ship.
Ater 2 1/2 weeks of being home. I noticed that he and my daughter were argueing alot. Something they never had done before. I had left for work as always, and he was already gone, we assumed he had gone to work too. I got home, and by the evening he still had not come home. We sat on pins and needles all night. I stayed home with my daughter the next day and we made calls to his work. He hadnt showed up, we called everyone he knew, they hadnt seen him. We got scared and called the police. After a week of being gone, he had not contacted anyone and no one had seen him. I was at work at my computer when my daughter called. She was frantic, she said they found her husband, he was dead. I left immediately and must have driven at least 100 miles an hour to get home, what normally took me a half hour, I got home in less than 15 minutes. The police were there, a chaplain, and my husband. My heart was racing, I felt sick but had to be strong for her and my grandson. They found my son in law in another city. His vehicle had been parked 6 blocks away from the hotel he was staying at. He had broken into a gun shop, loaded a shotgun, and blew his head off. I had to make the call to his mom. Shaking and sick with grief, I called her. She fainted on the phone, spoke with her husband. We were all in total disbelief. He had left a letter to my daughter inside one of her college books left in the truck. It was written on the inside of the book. He was sorry, he loved her and his son, but could not take it anymore. The war killed him undoubtedly as if he were killed by a bullet from a sniper from Iraq. He was dead. The war killed him.
To this day, a year later, we mourn him. His picture is everywhere in our home. We have flown to see his family and have become best friends and we now visit often. I am in counseling, my daughter refuses to go she says she handles it her way. My grandson, too young to remember him, knows he is no longer here. My husband has stepped in as a father figure as well as my son, who has been just wonderful with his sister and his nephew. I am so proud of how we all came together as a tribe, both families connected, but we all still fill the hole in our hearts. My grandson will be taught all about his father, his goofyness, his terrible jokes, his interests, his job, the navy, and how he was growing up, until he left us. We want to make sure he knows him well. But we will also teach him how much he was loved, and how a terrible thing as war, took him from us.
I know we are not the first this had happened to. Since then I have heard about 10 others in my area who have come home and taken their own life. No one does a study about this and no one talks about it . There is a need for our service men and women to have immediate counseling upon returning home. If the war it self doesnt kill them over there, they are dying over here. And its just as devasting if not more. I am writing to my senator, then over him, up to the president until something is done for them. I know there are people that are in need of our help everywhere, but what about our own? Who will stand up for them when they return home, will their needs be fullfilled? I dont know what else to do. But I do know the help is badly needed and it is being put off. They are coming home unstable, dark, and moody and potentially dangerous not just to the community but to themselves. We need answers and help. When he died, all the assistance and insurance my daughter had was dropped. She is no longer allowed on base, no access to the doctors for her or her son. They told her they lost the life insurance paperwork he had that he filled out before he left overseas. She had nothing. We can do what we can, but he not only gave his life to protect others, he took his own life to prevent hurting someone else. This is insane.