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I have been retired for two years now on a disability retirement. I am 60 years young, and am virtually the only one taking care of my 88 year old father in law. He has lived with us for over 10 years, after his second wife passed away. My wife is his ONLY living relative, and she continues to work full time, and most likely will for another 6-8 years.
I am the one who has to take him to various Doctor appointments. I take him to the bank. Lately I have been asked to begin doing his laundry. He has slight dimentia, heart diease, and a host of other medical issues.
I personally get fed up with hearing all about his bowel movements, or lack of them. I am tired of hearing about his diapers. I am tired of every week or two, him brining out another Rx bottle saying he needs a refill. I have asked him to not eat in his bedroom, as we live in a semi rural setting and are prone to mice. He continues to eat in his bedroom. He hides cookies in his room, so eat can "sneak" food.
Lately, he has been staying in his bedroom and not comming out, then I feel guilty because I am not paying attention to him. I have had the County dept. of the aging here and they were going to get him set up with a day care setting once or twice a week....never heard back from them!
I now am taking him the VA....for medical care. He had a change of medicines, now his food does not taste good. He has lost most of his teeth and can't chew much of anything. So when we want a sirloin on the grill....we have to consider him. His legs are losing so much muscle, that he can hardly stand.
He has one artificial leg. This spring I drove him to the people to get him a new leg.....which consisted of 5 visits and about 2-3 hours each visit. When he got the leg, he decided he does not like it....and won't wear it...only wears his old leg.
It does not seem fair. My wife and I can not go out to dinner, go on a vacation, or even go to friends, because he will have a "spell"...When we were kids, our parents went out without taking us kids along as it was for the "adults".....now that we are adults, seems like we are "trapped".
If anyone has ideas or suggestions we are open!