This forum post is hidden because you have chosen to ignore 1CindyinCA. Show Details
This forum post is hidden because you have submitted an abuse report against it. Show Details
Hi IIn Response to RE: Caring for/about Abusive Relative:
Hi I'm new to posting questions or responding to someone else's response, but here I go.... I loved what you wrote to Tiara, to be direct about what is o k and what is not ok to me. And although my elderly mother refuses to acknowledge my eldest brother's life long abusive personality, that does not change reality. I also know that her life is in danger and I think I will be forced to seek some legal stance in taking control of her and her estate. I know that God has led me to stay away from the pervasive evil going on, but I cannot just ignore facts. I have another brother who is also a Christian. He has talked about getting conservetor status or something. Well it seems clear to me that we must act quickly to offer her even 1 year or so of a somewhat descent life on the earth. I hope that you may respond to me sometime in the coming week. I feel very alone especially with a husband who is somewhat abusive and definetely controlling and does not want to get involved because my mother has always been cruel to me. So I remain hopeful that by join-ing this group I will atleast get some sort of support during this incredibly difficult time in my life. I know God is with me and am truly thankful. I try to share God's love to everyone I meet.
May God bless you richly, Cindy B.
In Response to re: Caring for/about Abusive Relative by TIARA
Tiara, As I think about the position you are in, I remember a friend who left her husband and every few weeks he told her how he had changed. She believed him each time. I'd only ask, "has his behavior changed?" Each time it was "No." It will be pressure on you to hold to your "time out" for him. People can only continue to disrespect those who allow it.. Set just a couple of your most needed boundaries...whether it is: "do not speak to daughters and me in disrespectful terms"...if he does, then take immediate action (leave or warn him one time)...Don't tackle everything at once. One or two issues until he gets the message. Make up your mind that the holidays may not be the same as always. By respecting his right to be as he wants to be ---but refusing to be part of it --you send a subtle message that things have changed. You may be uncomfortable following through just because this is new to you. Be willing to be uncomfortable as you walk through this. Glad you got help to bolster you up. Things can only change as you respect yourself enough to take steps in that direction. Wish you the best.
Posted by Poco