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I am now 57. He is 51.
We have loved one another romantically for a couple years now, a wonderful 2nd chance relationship.
When I got engaged to him I knew it could be a very, very long engagement. His mother is 84 and dependent on him solely for care; She lives with him and has for many years since the death of his former wife and son who were slain in a car accident in the mid 1980s. Her husband died of cancer when my fiancée was only 10.
She is so fragile emotionally and physically that he has not revealed our relationship to her, only that we are good friends and we go to church together. I have come to agree with this. (Please don't judge us for this, I can't go in to the whole story here. Just trust us; this is merciful for her sake, and consequnetly for ours as well. ) We maintain sexual purity with each other, tho we do cuddle a lot and blissfully so!
But it's not easy, of course we want to do what married folks do when the lights go out! He lives nearby me so we visit in little chunks of time in between his full time job and caring for her. It almost feels like we are old teenagers going out behind Mom's back--lol.
We spend a lot of time online together every evening. We share the greatest soulmate love and for each other and for Christ. We feel sad that it seems the only way we will be free to get married will be when she passes on, yet there is satisfaction in doing what is best for ones ailing parent. She has had to give up so much to care for him, being a single working mom in the 1950s was even harder than it is now.
I am not looking for solutions, I just wanted to share our story to see if there is anyone in a similar situation. Perhaps what I have said here will comfort someone else as well.