This forum post is hidden because you have chosen to ignore Newlife40. Show Details
This forum post is hidden because you have submitted an abuse report against it. Show Details
I was married at 19, raised two wonderful kids, one his from a previous marriage and one of our own. At 36 he had an affair, we seperated, reconciled a year later, seperated again a year after that, and then finally divorced at 39. Now it's two years later and I am still his yo-yo. He can move on and does periodically but then always decides he wants me back which screws up my being able to move on. I have friends that have been through divorces but none that were married for as long as I was. I have no one that understands what this is doing to me. I struggle financially, emotionally, mentally and I do not know what to do anymore. I have turned myself inside out to try to fix our 20 year marriage, which was a happy marriage by his own admission. He says he will always love me and will never consider us divorced (except when it suits him). Can someone PLEASE tell me how to turn off this roller coaster that is sure to be my demise????
I have talked to a counselor. I have talked to my preacher. And everyone has the same good advice. Walk away and don't look back. BUT, How do make yourself do that? This is the only person I have ever loved and I made a vow to love forever. He torments me with "things will work our for us eventually, we can't give up". Let me reiteratet that his life is going on just fine. I am the one struggling. I can't make friends. I can't even think about looking at another man in "that" way and just the thought of trying to LOVE someone else, makes me physically ill. There has to be a way to just turn someone OFF in your mind and in your heart. Right?