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I have read all the discussions so far, and it sounds so similar to my situation. The controlling, the seeking of others in his life, etc. I have been married for 36 years and should have left many years ago. He has always dominated over me and did as he pleased in our relationship. His approach is I can not tell him what to do and he has the freedom to do what fancys him. However, I should be the dutiful, loving wife. How I have endured this long and why, I do not know. We do have two great children who are now grown and one is married. For having them I am very grateful, but I now wish to have some peace in my life. My health is now suffering for all the stress that this bad marriage has produced. I have very high blood pressure, diabetes, and suffer from a very severe case of psoriasis. All are directly affected by the high levels of stress. My problem now is how do you get out and get a divorce, when he has already said he will fight me all the way. He doesn't want me to leave with anything. The house and money is his, at least that is what he says. I am also an owner and contributer to this marriage, he just wants to control who gets what, right to the end. I can leave, but with nothing. I do see a therapist, for the second time in our marriage, and have sought counsel advice to start the process of divorce. The main reason for staying so long is the expense of an attorney and the length this could take. I do not have the financial resources to fight him for years. I do not qualify for assistance( legal aid) and do not have thousands for their retainers. Do any of you have any insights, or information I may have overlooked in my searching. We have lived as roomates for many years because of his wanting of others. I could not accept that and basically have lived as a 'me' instead of a 'we' for a long time. If I am going it alone anyway, I might as well actually be alone. Thank you for giving me a place to vent to others, who know what this is like. Any advice will be greatfully appreciated.