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In Response to RE: death of an ex by LeilaLW
I guess I have had a different experience than a lot of people when it comes to the death of an ex. When we divorced, we made the decision to stand together for our kids, who at that time were 12 and 15. We all know how kids will try to play each parent off the other. Our kids learned quickly that that little tactic would not work, no exceptions. My ex remarried several years later. That was another battle with my daughter, who did not want him to remarry. I convinced her that Dad would be happier and live longer if he remarried, and the woman he married is, to this day, a friend of mine. Also she had no children of her own, and just took my two right into her heart as her own.
To make a long story short; my ex died two years ago in August, 08 at the age of 70. I grieved his passing for myself and for my children, who were 39 and 42 at the time. Also for my granddaughter who was just starting college. Let me tell you, August, 2008 was a very rough time for all of us. I can remember telling my sister that I grieved because he was no longer "in this world" because over the years he and I had consulted about the kids on one thing or another. Even though we were divorced and he had remarried, we remained on good terms for the sake of the kids.
Now, when I look back on this experience, I am so glad we made the decision to stand together for our children. It made such a difference for all of us. Today my children are well-adjusted and happy, they both have college degrees and both have good relationships with their spouses. Now I am not saying it has all been a smooth road with no potholes, a few BIG ones, but that decision 30 years ago was one of the best he and I ever made, for us and for our children.