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I agree with others--if it seems to you there is trouble, either fix it (which doesn't seem to be an option) or leave. Perhaps Sallyjoq is right--perhaps your main interest/motivation for the current relationship was the sex that was missing from your previous one. Perhaps men are different than women, but that wouldn't be enough for me. And now it looks like the sex has gone AWOL here. At the very least, go an inventory of the pros and cons of staying together. If the best things outweigh the worst, perhaps there's something to work with in fixing things. If the worst things weigh most heavily, do yourself a favor and jump ship. And then spend 2-3 years getting to know yourself before trying to get into another relationship. Rebound relationships can be problematical.
In Response to What do I do now?:
After 27 years of marriage I got the old "I love you but I'm not in love with you". We divorced and 1.5 years later, I've met a woman, and a year after that, moved to my old hometown and moved in with her. When we met we were about 2.5 hours apart and travelled on the weekends. At first sex was great. I'm 54 and she's 48.
She belongs to a gym and in fact used to own it and sold it about 6 months ago but she still goes and now I do too. She/we get up at 345 every morning, gets there at 430 for a 500 workout and is done by 600. This gym is definitely most of her world, besides her incredibly stressful job. She travels 35 minutes each way to work and usually gets home by 630 pm.
Long story short, she's up at 345 and asleep on the couch most evenings by 800-900pm. Weekends are spent napping or catching up on all that doesn't get done during the week. Her energy goes into her job and is sapped, not enhanced by waking at 345 and spending 2.5 hours getting a 45 minute workout before sunrise.
The gym is all drama for her. The new owner doesn't do things right, the new head coach doesn't either, blah, blah blah... she has to teach or open all the time, has threatened to quit so many times I'm sick of hearing it and won't entertain the fact that there's other things in life besides being stressed and exhausted. Needless to say, what once was my lover when we lived apart turned into my roommate when I got to town.
I love making love to this woman because she was everything my ex wasn't. Now I'm lucky to get a peck on the lips and maybe a quickie every couple of weeks. I'm already ready to declare this unhealthy after two months and consider moving on. Thoughts?
Posted by trek2300