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When I Knew It Was Over
I guess I more or less married Rick on the rebound. Yes, I loved him very much, but I rushed into it way too fast. Skip had worked away and was seldom home for so many years; I wanted a husband who would be with me.
I met Rick in McDonalds one day while Malinda was in kindergarten. An electric current shot through us the moment our hands touched. Rick was a Pentecostal Preacher. He invited me to church and I went. I had been around Pentecostals while travelling with Skip on his job. I should have picked up on some negativity in the relationship when Rick told me not to sit with him. I sat with my new friend, Rosa.
He called me on the phone a lot and we would talk for hours. It was like we were teenagers. Kevin didn’t have much time to talk on the phone to his girlfriend because Rick and I talked so much.
I was working at the bank. Almost every night, Rick and I were in church together. Many nights we were out till 3 AM or so. I don’t know how I got through the days at work. But my cash drawer balanced every day.
He got an engagement ring. He put it on my credit card. He promised to pay me back. He didn’t. He needed a car and I loaned him the money to get a clunker. He never paid me back. He wanted stuff from Radio Shack and I put them on my card. He promised to pay me back. I don’t know why I was so gullible. After we were married, he gave the car to his daughter. I never saw a penny.
We got married and three weeks after the wedding, Michele was really showing herself. He took her into the house and whipped her. She had bruises all over her butt. She showed her mom when she was with her and they had to go to the welfare department. I was reliving my nightmare life with Skip. But we were already married. What could I do? I wasn’t going to live like that again.
Eventually I had a nervous breakdown at work, though it wasn’t just work that brought it on. His daughter was a big problem. Our money was really tight. We had gotten a home equity loan to pay off the bills he had incurred. Eventually we sold the house to pay off the loan, and then had the same amount of payment on a new house. I should never have done that, because I was still in a bad emotional state. Never make life-changing decisions at a time like that.
He continued to increase our debt even after the home equity loan was paid off. He bought vehicles, trailers, even an old store with apartments upstairs. He would get deals in the mail where “if you cash this check, you get this credit card”. He kept cashing those checks. He had no credit before he met me. Now he was ruining mine with his insane greed. A loan officer from the bank called one day and I told her I didn’t understand why they kept loaning him money. There was no way he would be able to pay it back.
His job was maintenance at NationalBusinessCollege. He was paid about $1,000 to clean over there 2-3 times a week and keep the lawn mowed. Then I found out that he had been going to work every night, but he had quit the job. Now he had no income.
But more importantly, where was he those nights he was supposed to be at work? He never would say. Lies and deceit was all around me.
He had even left town on overnight trips and didn’t tell me. I was frantic about that. I had no idea where he was. Once he had been to NC and bought property there.
He began using one of his trucks to haul old vehicles to the recycle. That brought in nothing but gas money.
Things were really bad between us. It was three years since I had my breakdown and was still not able to even think about going back to work.
Rick never wanted me to pick up the mail. He always insisted on doing it. One day in February 1998, I got the mail. There was another payment book from the bank in the mail. That was the last straw. More lies and deceit followed. Finally, I just looked at him and said, “Do you want to help me move into the trailer downtown tomorrow?” He immediately said yes.
We were divorced by July. The saddest thing about that relationship was that the marriage was savable. His greed and lies destroyed it. He was out of the will of God.
I had prayed and prayed for a miracle in him from God, but it never happened. I still pray for him. He is still living a life of lies and deceit. Once again, I had done everything I knew to try to save the marriage, but, it takes two for anything to work. I was the only one who wanted it to work.
But when I picked up the mail and saw yet another payment book, I knew it was over.