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When my oldeset daughter had her two boys, we were there when they were first born. They spent alot of weekends with us. Their father (our son-in-law) was in and out of jail.
The last time he went before the judge, we stood as a family and showed he had support. Right after that, because we did not support them in an illegal activity (which we NEVER would), the son-in-law cursed us out. He is also very abusive, physically and mentally to our daughter. He has decided we could not see the children. This was 4 years ago at Christmas time.
She has had 3 more children since that time. The last two we have spent NO time with at all. They do not know us.
We know that she is afraid of her husband. She will call from time to time so we know they are okay but this has been very painful.
My husband and I have decided not to push the issue at all. When she (our daughter) is ready, she will make a decision to get out of this abusive relationship.
Until then...we wait.