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In my years as a single man, almost all the women I met had a home they love, friends and relatives and weren't going to move. On the other hand, I have a busy life of traveling and can live anywhere.
So some years back I moved into the home of a woman. It took a long time to see that it's important to own some space or the house is just another hotel. That relationship failed and I think in part because I never established a nest of my own with my things.
Now I'm contemplating trying this again. The woman I love has a small house we both like. It's well located and affordable. She's lived there, alone, for more than 30 years. Thus she has things the way she wants them. Her standards for cleanliness and neatness are greater than mine.
We have been able to talk quite candidly about all this and are making progress, but I wonder if others have experience.
How much space makes sense to designate as mine?
How much is it reasonable to ask her to compromise her cleanliness standards?
She worries quite a bit about furniture, no food in or around the couches, really out of the kitchen. I like to eat in front of the tv and drink coffee while I read the "paper" on my laptop.
I've identified a corner she doesn't seem to care about and offered to buy a chair and table that, should it happen, it will OK to spill the coffee on. She's thinking about it, but I can tell it will be hard to think that way.
We watch a lot of movies and I like to eat popcorn and prop my feet on the coffee table. She's extremely protective of the table in front of the couch where we watch movies. I think it would be safe to put a blanket on the table and rest my feet... yeah, I know all this is petty but isn't this the stuff that gets in the way?
So I'm wondering if anyone has advice.