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Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
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Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
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In a post from late March, AARP health blogger Candy Sagon discusses the levels of grief one can feel over losing a pet compared to losing a relative or friend. She was inspired to write about the sub
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Forums » Relationships » Pets » Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
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Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
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Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 4, 2012 1:29 PM EDT
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Posts: 68
First: December 14, 2010 Last: November 16, 2012 |
In a post from late March, AARP health blogger Candy Sagon discusses the levels of grief one can feel over losing a pet compared to losing a relative or friend. She was inspired to write about the subject after reading a touching article by a Washington Post editor who was overcome with grief after the death of his Doberman. For many folks, pets are like family members and their deaths can be every bit as much devastating and emotional. When my cocker spaniel Bogey passed away, I was sad for a couple of weeks. But Bogey was 13 years old and had lived a good life ... and somehow it was comforting for me to know that his badly arthritic joints were no longer causing him pain. I have nothing but warm and wonderful memories of Bogey, and I still often think of him all these years later. (My current living conditions are not conducive to pet ownership, but one day when I retire, I hope to get another black cocker spaniel just like Bogey.) What do you think? Is it normal to grieve the loss of a pet the same as the death of a human loved one? |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 5, 2012 3:09 AM EDT
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Posts: 1
First: April 5, 2012 Last: April 5, 2012 |
In Response to Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?: In a post from late March, AARP health blogger Candy Sagon discusses the levels of grief one can feel over losing a pet compared to losing a relative or friend. She was inspired to write about the subject after reading a touching article by a Washington Post editor who was overcome with grief after the death of his Doberman . For many folks, pets are like family members and their deaths can be every bit as much devastating and emotional. When my cocker spaniel Bogey passed away, I was sad for a couple of weeks. But Bogey was 13 years old and had lived a good life ... and somehow it was comforting for me to know that his badly arthritic joints were no longer causing him pain. I have nothing but warm and wonderful memories of Bogey, and I still often think of him all these years later. (My current living conditions are not conducive to pet ownership, but one day when I retire, I hope to get another black cocker spaniel just like Bogey.) What do you think? Is it normal to grieve the loss of a pet the same as the death of a human loved one? Posted by swimfanlane6 Yes it is, My wife and I were not blessed to be able to have children, and for the 36+ years we have been married our dogs have been our kids!! Our dogs have been inspirational to us, have helped us in times of loss and adversity, and have given us many, many beautiful memories. Heck people, 2 of our pets are in pet cemeteries (markers, vaults, caskets) and the other was cremated!! People have told us there is something wrong with you two for the way we treat our dogs. Well let me say this: in this world we have scam artists, rapists, murderers, crooked politicians, war, disease, famine, and kiddie porn, and there is something wrong with us!!? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 5, 2012 8:14 PM EDT
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Posts: 2
First: April 5, 2012 Last: April 5, 2012 |
I have loved and lost many beautiful dog friends in my life. My oldest current dog was just diagnosed with an inoperable cancer. Though he is stil with me at this moment I am already grieving....he is a beautiful, loving, faithful, happy friend. He has stood by me through a lot of life's challenges. I will be devastated by his loss. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 6, 2012 3:44 PM EDT
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Posts: 2
First: April 6, 2012 Last: August 15, 2012 |
You most certainly can! Since I was about 4 or 5 years old, I have had hundreds of cats,(my favorite pet) and through the years, I've had my share of grief. Some of the cats I had were extraordinary. They were all strays from my back yard. There are many stories to tell and remember. One even warned about an almost breakin my house, I live on the 1st floor. Almost all my cats were over 15 years old, one was 2 months away from 20 years old. One was the most intelligent cat I've ever had. Almost all have a good story to remember. I've never had a dog, but I had "dog friends", with some interesting stories. All in all, I love all animals and I'm not afraid any kind of bug, animal or fish or what have you. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 6, 2012 4:04 PM EDT
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Posts: 1
First: April 6, 2012 Last: April 6, 2012 |
To all animal lovers and to those who don't understand - YES! We DO grieve our furry critters as though they were human. Our pets love us unconditionally, even when we're having a bad day and when that occurs, somehow, they're head on your knee brings immeasurable comfort. I lost my beloved husband of 30 years three years ago and it is by far the hardest experinece I've ever had to endure and I am still grieving, and in that time, I lost two wonderful dogs who were with him through his illness - one he didn't want me to bring him at all and yet, she was the one who laid with him, sat with him constantly to the very end! I have had every dog I've had the pleasure of living with in my adult life cremated and I've saved their ashes in My urn and someday, they will be scattered with my ashes. Crazy? Yes, perhaps. I still have a small dog whom I adore and I cannot bear leaving her alone at home more than three hours - she is now my reason to get up each morning and seize the day. I believe each animal brings something special to the party and when they leave us, the emptiness is unbelievable. So yes, we can and do grieve as though they were human. And you know what? It's okay. My little Chloe grieved for days when her 'daddy' died. It's only reasonable that we should feel the same grief. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 7, 2012 11:22 AM EDT
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Posts: 2
First: April 7, 2012 Last: April 7, 2012 |
In Response to Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?: In a post from late March, AARP health blogger Candy Sagon discusses the levels of grief one can feel over losing a pet compared to losing a relative or friend. She was inspired to write about the subject after reading a touching article by a Washington Post editor who was overcome with grief after the death of his Doberman . For many folks, pets are like family members and their deaths can be every bit as much devastating and emotional. When my cocker spaniel Bogey passed away, I was sad for a couple of weeks. But Bogey was 13 years old and had lived a good life ... and somehow it was comforting for me to know that his badly arthritic joints were no longer causing him pain. I have nothing but warm and wonderful memories of Bogey, and I still often think of him all these years later. (My current living conditions are not conducive to pet ownership, but one day when I retire, I hope to get another black cocker spaniel just like Bogey.) What do you think? Is it normal to grieve the loss of a pet the same as the death of a human loved one? Posted by swimfanlane6 The pain of loosing a pet, in my experience, is very painful, but still different then a human loved one. Years ago, my husband and mother died six months apart. EVERY aspect of my life was different. My collie Nicki died a few months later, and with her lose I became shattered. I loved all three of them, still do, but loosing my husband did destroy me in a way that no other lose could. So it IS an individual assessment. Some will not be devastated by the lose of their spouse, but their pets leaving can cripple you with pain. Maybe because they are so loyal, there is never any bad memories. They always are there for us. We may feed and groom them, however,I dont think our pets know how much they do for our souls. We have lived most of our lives, and our pets along the way have been a snap shot in time. My Collies passing helped me grief for all three. I remember burying my Akita, and feeling so lonely. We know why people say, "I'll never get another dog/cat cant deal with the pain of loosing them". But thats is the same as I'll never allow myself to love another. Lose hurts badly. But I cannot live without love, that is much too cold. I love deeply and loosing my dogs through the years, four, has hurt, yes I think about them and the time in my life that we shared. I just dont think the whole grieving process is the same. And if someone out there has lost a "real" friend and lover, did it change you as a person more then loosing your pet?? I loved and love my dogs, I just think its harder to "move on" after the death of a spouse or geez a child.................. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 7, 2012 1:28 PM EDT
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Posts: 1
First: April 7, 2012 Last: April 7, 2012 |
The death of my pets was significantly more tragic to me than when my father died. My pets were nicer to me. They accepted me for who I am. They did not critcize me, lecture me, belittle me or ignored me. As a grown-up, I am infinitively more successful than my father ever was. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 7, 2012 1:56 PM EDT
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Posts: 20
First: September 24, 2010 Last: April 1, 2013 |
My experience is different than Schelm's. My Dad died at home alone with our family dog. My Mom was at work & didn't get home until 5:30 & our dog was with my dead father all afternoon. The dog knew what happened & when they took my Dad, the dog never recovered from his grief & died 3 months later. My Dad had been retired for 3 years prior to his death & he was with the dog every day while my Mom worked. So as much as we tried to comfort our dog, he died from grief. We never got another dog after him - it would have been too much to bear. The irony is I'm the one who wanted to get a dog in the 1st place when I was in high school. My parents objected & I did a good job convincing them. I went to college, moved back home for 3 yrs. then moved out again. My parents kept the dog & after Dad retired, he fell in love with the dog. And I distinctly remember him telling me, "You are NOT getting a dog, because you are not responsible enough & I don't want to get stuck walking him in the morning." Sounds like a Dad talking to a 14 yr. old - right? Well, things turned around, didn't it. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 7, 2012 3:58 PM EDT
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Posts: 1
First: April 7, 2012 Last: April 7, 2012 |
I'm 74 years old and have had dogs since I was a little boy. Over the years, the loss of each one was painful. However, the love and joy shared within the lifetime of each dog, and the other pets I was fortunate enough to be blessed by, gave me a knowledge of nature that provided a gift of the Lord that I would have never known otherwise. (see Job 12:7-8) One can never know what unconditional love really is until one knows the true love of a dog. And it teaches better than anything else to young people that you receive back what you give. |
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Re: Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
posted at April 9, 2012 7:00 AM EDT
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Posts: 1
First: April 9, 2012 Last: April 9, 2012 |
I have been taking in "abandoned, forgotten and unloved" dogs my entire life. These rescues have been so thankful for the life I give them, the life they deserve. When one passes over, the heartache is often unbearable. I recently lost a Golden who was 10 when I got him. I had him 2.5 beautiful years. I felt like I knew him his entire life. My Labrador has been gone 11 years now. I still miss him like it was yesterday. I think it is very normal to grieve for an animal, as I believe they have souls, too. |
Forums » Relationships » Pets » Can You Grieve the Death of a Pet as Much as the Death of a Relative or Friend?
