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Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
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Love & Sex
Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>Ask your peers for relationship advice (and, dare we say, sex tips too?) Singles and married couples are all welcome, just remember to keep it PG-13, folks.</div><div><br /></div></font>
Fair warning...this is a lament. There are few places to have simple, relaxed conversations without rancor and recrimination on the AARP site. I believe it's possible to have
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Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
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Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 22, 2011 5:02 AM EDT
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Posts: 3983
First: July 31, 2010 Last: May 17, 2013 |
In Response to Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?: Hi NMN ~ Happy to have you drop by! Yes, it is a little disconcerting that it's taken a while to assemble enough people who want to have a conversation. I think if everyone gets on here and just has a little session of free association and letting their minds ramble for a bit, talking about whatever's on their minds, we may break down the shyness and hesitancy and find a conversational topic others want to jump in on. Even the discussion forums have dry spells where there's not much activity...it seems to run in cycles. Please don't allow the lack of activity to shape your opinion just yet...everyone and every idea has "growing pains!" What are your interests? What do you like to do and talk about? Do you need advice or another's opinion? Do you want to know what others are thinking and doing and how they handle their lives as a single senior? Ask, write, explain...this is your message board as much as anyone else's. I just thought it might be great to be able to trade ideas and conversations with others who find themselves living the single senior lifestyle...as I am! Look forward to earing from you soon!
Welll...I've been snooping around AARP site for quite awhile but THIS finally made me suck it up and join so I could play on the message board. Now it looks like it's been two days, TWO DAYS since anybody said hi. SOOO, I'll wait to see if it picks up maybe? Are we still echoing or does anybody want to talk about STUFF? And what kind of stuff? I'm open to almost anything. I get tired of talking to myself though. Not much of a typist either so every little bit of three finger typing has to count :) Posted by NoMoreNames |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 22, 2011 10:58 AM EDT
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Posts: 20
First: October 21, 2011 Last: June 10, 2012 |
Ahh Haaa!! I expected a several day echo and got a couple hour return! Not bad , Looky- I got the smileys through the pop-up blocker too.I'm not entirely ignorant to the computer but was never an indoor person until...oops, guess it's been a few loooong years, but STILL couldn't convince myself that learning to type was something I wanted to do. I've tried several times with a free program on the internet and get almost through the alphabet with all my fingers going, but I just don't have the drive to practise to get up to the speed of my 3 finger pecking. HEY! I can start an arguement! How about that? I noticed someone on another board here looking for Senior specific funding for further education, I wanted to say DON'T DO IT!! Why? Personally I think it's a scam  . Again, why?Because NO Pell or other GRANT type program is going to pay enough to cover living expenses. SOOO, that leads us into Student Loans, which of course creates debt most of us can ill afford to carry. Several years back, wow- may have even been a decade(!), the top industries of Logging and Commercial Fishing took a major hit here. Step up the feds and some other groups that pushed for retraining for "displaced workers" including the spouses of those that lost their jobs due to shutdowns. Well here we are today with numerous families that have massive educational debt, have lost homes etc. and are now between 40-60 or more and haven't had more than a bare minimum wage job in YEARS. Still have that educational debt though. There's alot more to it of course, but honestly, REALISTICALLY tell me why a company would choose to hire an older worker, no matter how educated, when they can get the youngsters for CHEAP?? Think THAT minor rant might get someone in to attack my opinion? I promise I won't say WAAAHH like a baby  I'll butt in on almost anything else too, let's get conversing 
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 22, 2011 7:27 PM EDT
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Posts: 3983
First: July 31, 2010 Last: May 17, 2013 |
I like your style, NMN! You bring up something worth a second look. There are pockets of "displaced" workers all over the US...especially the "Rust Belt." I live in the Mid-Atlantic, but I don't think anyone wants to turn a blind eye to situations like this. One never knows who will be the next one hit with the proverbial "pink slip." (You mentioned spouses, but this applies to SINGLE SENIORS as well and this is a singles discussion...I just want to make that point before anyone brings it up!) Who knows how many of them may have chosen the education option and got so far into it that they HAD to take out student loans. Hope springs eternal and most of them probably thought there would be a job for a college-educated person with a proven record of a good work ethic and being a team player. Then comes the perfect storm of the housing bubble bursting and more jobs leaving the US for foreign shores...these people were hit with something they weren't prepared for and couldn't defend against. Unless they were mind readers or fortune tellers or could see the future in a crystal ball, they found themselves stuck in a no-man's land even after following all of the rules and making what they thought were the "right" choices!
Your position that seniors shouldn't get involved in government loans is well-grounded by the observations you made. I just weep for people who, through no fault of their own, find themselves in circumstances like these...deeply in debt for an education and their "good years" rapidly passing by. I find it disheartening that today's young people cannot really envision a future with all of the trappings their parents had and possibly even earning higher incomes. This is America! Land of opportunity! What has happened to that concept? By turning a blind eye to corporate greed, agreeing to NAFTA and sending manufacturers overseas, not to mention all of the other bright ideas of the past several decades, have we "killed the goose that laid the golden egg?"  I hope this remains a conversation...no rants nor shouting matches, no flaming nor ad hominem attacks. We don't want AARP to turn the light off on our conversation before it even gets off to a good start! Play nice! Relax...would someone pour me another glass of wine, please?  |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 22, 2011 9:10 PM EDT
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Posts: 2
First: October 22, 2011 Last: November 4, 2011 |
I ,too, am new to this messageing,but would like to have those simple conversations mentioned. I have been single a long time as well (23 yrs) but it is like the saying says "Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean there's a fire in the furnace!. I believe that though we are older alot of us still have youthful constutions. I have to admit that I do wonder what it would be like to be held in a mans arms again. I think it would be quite nice. 
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 23, 2011 1:09 PM EDT
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Posts: 20
First: October 21, 2011 Last: June 10, 2012 |
In Response to Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?: I like your style, NMN! You bring up something worth a second look. There are pockets of "displaced" workers all over the US...especially the "Rust Belt." I live in the Mid-Atlantic, but I don't think anyone wants to turn a blind eye to situations like this. One never knows who will be the next one hit with the proverbial "pink slip." (You mentioned spouses, but this applies to SINGLE SENIORS as well and this is a singles discussion...I just want to make that point before anyone brings it up!) Who knows how many of them may have chosen the education option and got so far into it that they HAD to take out student loans. Hope springs eternal and most of them probably thought there would be a job for a college-educated person with a proven record of a good work ethic and being a team player. Then comes the perfect storm of the housing bubble bursting and more jobs leaving the US for foreign shores...these people were hit with something they weren't prepared for and couldn't defend against. Unless they were mind readers or fortune tellers or could see the future in a crystal ball, they found themselves stuck in a no-man's land even after following all of the rules and making what they thought were the "right" choices! Your position that seniors shouldn't get involved in government loans is well-grounded by the observations you made. I just weep for people who, through no fault of their own, find themselves in circumstances like these...deeply in debt for an education and their "good years" rapidly passing by. I find it disheartening that today's young people cannot really envision a future with all of the trappings their parents had and possibly even earning higher incomes. This is America! Land of opportunity! What has happened to that concept? By turning a blind eye to corporate greed, agreeing to NAFTA and sending manufacturers overseas, not to mention all of the other bright ideas of the past several decades, have we "killed the goose that laid the golden egg?" I hope this remains a conversation...no rants nor shouting matches, no flaming nor ad hominem attacks. We don't want AARP to turn the light off on our conversation before it even gets off to a good start! Play nice! Relax...would someone pour me another glass of wine, please? Posted by scrborofaire AGGGHHH!! I just got a whole post swallowed into the netherworld!! I'm so aggrivated I could spit : SPLAT!! Not sure if it was me or the dang cat jumping on the keyboard...probably me  . It's only 10:00 am and I think I need that glass of wine .Yup, I'm single too, I just mentioned spouses because of the massive coersion that was going on at the time to get the Fed dollars into the area. Now I feel like I'm seeing the same coersion again, directed more at seniors and particularly SINGLE seniors. Especially those without extended family to clue them in on the ploy. Naw, I don't really want to fight about it, I was just hoping we could get something going. I think Llinglling has the right idea- HI LLINGLLING!! Lets talk about...cuddling |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 23, 2011 1:17 PM EDT
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Posts: 218
First: May 5, 2010 Last: February 3, 2013 |
In Response to Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?: Scrborofaire: Your lament is very justified. I had difficulty to get to your post as the AARP community has some how eleminated me. Like you I am fun loving. I welcome discussions but certainly like humor and also want to maintain civility. I certainly don't want to discuss all the details of intimacy although I understand it is important. Do we have to bring everything in the open. I believe some concealment is some times more enticing. Thanks for your nice lament. If you answer I may not see it as I don't get the community bulletin. Dipak Fair warning...this is a lament. There are few places to have simple, relaxed conversations without rancor and recrimination on the AARP site. I believe it's possible to have entertaining and fun conversations with other singles, widows and divorced people and I'd like to find such a place here on AARP. I am a member of several "singles specific" discussion forums. I like to check in to see if there are any interesting conversations going on and in the past I've jumped in and offered my thoughts. That's it...just my thoughts, my unique opinions on the subject at hand, nothing more and nothing less. I like to read similar contributions from others...even if they disagree! Everyone has a contribution to make and conversation is a shared activity. What I've found is that there are a fair number of people who agree with me and an equally fair number who have different perspectives and respectfully offer their own views. Unfortunately, there a a few who seem to like to "battle it out" on forums instead of having respectful and civil conversations. There are overly sensitive people who take offense & instead of making their feelings known, rush away without saying a word. Some people have their own agendas and push them incessantly as well as a few folks who manage to seem more arrogant & selfish with each new post. There are even some individuals who like to push the envelope of good taste when discussing matters involving sex and want to "kick it up a notch!" We're all adults here, aren't we? I think we can discuss it minus the "raunchy" factor. There are flamebaiters and trolls, certain folks who make "ad hominem" attacks on their fellow members and others who are just plain rude! Would they act this way if they were guests in someone's home? I hope not! What ever happened to good manners and respecting one's fellows? Has the notion of maintaining proper etiquette and engaging in civil conversations gone up in a puff of smoke? If the community code is "Be nice!" who enforces it? Absent and "hands off" administrators/moderators may seem like a good thing, but I think prominent boundaries as to what is acceptable forum behavior should be displayed and used to maintain decorum and keep rowdy or uncivil behavior in check. Sometimes it seems that the inmates are running the asylum. I keep asking myself if it's worth it to stay on. Can you imagine what it would be like? Just a good & simple conversation among friends...like those shared over coffee or a good bottle of wine. Is that too much to ask? Do you feel you miss that as well? Do you have any thoughts on making such a thing happen here on AARP? Thanks for listening! ~ scrborofaire (formerly Mimi1921) Posted by scrborofaire |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 24, 2011 12:06 PM EDT
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Posts: 20
First: October 21, 2011 Last: June 10, 2012 |
"Please don't allow the lack of activity to shape your opinion just yet...everyone and every idea has "growing pains!" What are your interests? What do you like to do and talk about? Do you need advice or another's opinion? Do you want to know what others are thinking and doing and how they handle their lives as a single senior?" I snagged that little snippet instead of having the whole post copied...I understand completely! I helped someone get a board started several years back, by routinely coming on and bringing up topics. I was also a moderator on a board that gave accurate non-judgemental answers to "youth" that had sex questions. I can't say I was shocked, but I was certainly surprised the things kids still believed in this day and age! I think this is a great idea, WE just need to be found. I know there are plenty of us (single seniors) that would love to have ADULT conversations and I don't mean adult in a nasty X-rated way. THAT crap can be found all over the 'net. SOOO, how about THIS for another shot in the dark? I read the article that I keep seeing up there on the left hand side, "With Being Over 50, Things I'll Never Wear Again". It was an amusing article and I had to laugh. The author said she had come down the stairs to go out with her son and daughter in law in a "cute" dress. Son said something like, "Nice dress Ma, but it would look way better on HER", nodding toward young wife (or something like that). She went on to describe purging her well stocked closet of "innappropriate" overly youthful garments. It got me thinking about us older singles and how we dress, and WHY we dress the way we do. Now some questions... If you know you'll be going somewhere during the day, do you consiously dress to "attract" a partner? Do you have an honest friend to ask if what you think is attractive actually is? I know I've read more than once that women in particular dress to impress other women- if you are a woman, do you feel you do this? I KNOW I don't! If you are a man, what kind of garment attracts you to a woman? What makes you notice her? I'm talking us older women, duh , I think most men are going to find a young, fit woman worth a look, but I mean a woman your age group (US), are there garments that shout, "Don't approach me"! What about in the grocery store guys, would you strike up a conversation with a woman in sweat pants or is that a no-no? Ladies?I'll be checking in again soon. Have a wonderful morning. |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 25, 2011 2:54 PM EDT
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Posts: 3983
First: July 31, 2010 Last: May 17, 2013 |
Hi Dipak! Hello llinglling! Glad you stopped by! No official welcoming committee, just pull up a comfortable chair, pour your favorite drink, sit down and start conversing about anything that's on your mind! Dipak, Community Help has resumed the Daily Digest, so hopefully you will be able to make your way back here. If you don't find the messages boards that way, just click on "Community" on your homepage and you will see "messages" in the drop-down menu. I think it's listed last.
llinglling, "cuddling" is something that is hard for some single seniors to find. Honey, I just say keep looking as cute as you are and keep your eyes open to the possibility of meeting an interesting man. I have two little doggies to cuddle when times are lean, but that can only go so far...lol! Some men don't like it when women have pets...kick tose guys to the curb before anything gets started. I don't think they're open to sharing and cuddling anyway! I don't routinely recommend eliminating one whole segment of the target population right off the bat, but if a man wants all of your attention and doesn't want to share it with a beloved pet, he is selfish and he will be selfish in his physical demonstrations of "love" with you! JMO, you know! NMN--interesting that you bring up dress. I dress to please myself. I think that my style is more classic, but the prima facie evidence that I also dress to appear attractive to men is when I get compliments from men in CHURCH of all places! I don't "bare" my assets, but I don't exactly hide them, either! I don't think my choice of clothing keeps men from approaching me at all! I have a tip for guys in the grocery store...if a woman looks nice to you and she's wearing gym clothes and appears to have just left the gym, approach her, by all means! She's not trying to maintain that body just for her own sake...she wants to look attractive to others...especially men. After a sweaty workout, the pheromones are working overtime. If you approach to talk and feel more attracted...well, that's just nature taking it's natural course. If she thinks you're too cheeky and slaps you, keep your tiger in the tank and be a little more reserved next time around! You should find out what gym she goes to and check it out! If you are not going to the gym, well shame on you! Are you allowing yourself to let your own hot body go? There were a few other guys on here...where did they go? C'mon guys! The ladies want to hear what you have to say and some of them want to talk about cuddling! Someone is creating a bread trail just like Hansel & Gretel! They're making it easy for you! |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 26, 2011 1:04 PM EDT
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Posts: 20
First: October 21, 2011 Last: June 10, 2012 |
"Someone is creating a bread trail just like Hansel & Gretel!" Maybe we need to set up a spring trap (a humane live trap of course!!) along that trail .I had to laugh at the gym clothes reference, in MY humble community "sweat pants" RARELY means someone has been to the gym. My impression is that they're just too lazy to get fully dressed- while complaining that there's no available men or women to date. I can promise I'm not snooty in the least, but I wouldn't approach a guy that goes to the grocery in the clothes it looks like he slept in! I do see many more women dressed this way though. It could be the time of day I'm usually shopping now, which is before 11:00am. I like to be in and out before the noon rush or late day shoppers. I dress to please myself also. I've never been typically feminine unless it was required for on the job. Needless to say, the majority of my wardrobe is jeans and sweaters. I DO "scrub up well", ( I used to model, NOT the fashion stuff, no you wouldn't "know" me), but my interests and hobbys mostly lead to outdoors, dirt, fish guts, pursuits that obviously don't lend themselves to skirts and heels . I could cook a mean meal over a campfire though!! I'll be hoping more visitors come to visit and stay to chat. I have another question brewing, slightly controversial if you'd like me to ask you first scrboro, since YOUR lament started here. |
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Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
posted at October 26, 2011 2:28 PM EDT
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Posts: 3983
First: July 31, 2010 Last: May 17, 2013 |
In Response to Re: Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?: NMN...you may ask whatever you want! These message boards are AARP's and there's no ownership as there is in the "Discussion Forums." I just created this topic...which I envisioned to be an "all encompassing conversation," and I hoped everyone who responds follows the rules and guidelines of AARP. They defined the "community code!" BE NICE! If everyone follows the code, presumably, the conversation can go on forever! That's my vision, at least...to meet new friends and converse about anything and everything without having to stop and switch topics! It's nice of you to ask! We can always introduce controversial topics. I'm thinking that AARP will moderate as it sees fit and if a topic doesn't elicit civil responses and behaviors, single responses or whole threads may be removed "for cause." If this conversation is removed, I suppose it's possible to begin again. I haven't checked with Community Host. This is entirely their baby...not mine. Mimi "Someone is creating a bread trail just like Hansel & Gretel!" Maybe we need to set up a spring trap (a humane live trap of course!!) along that trail . I had to laugh at the gym clothes reference, in MY humble community "sweat pants" RARELY means someone has been to the gym. My impression is that they're just too lazy to get fully dressed- while complaining that there's no available men or women to date. I can promise I'm not snooty in the least, but I wouldn't approach a guy that goes to the grocery in the clothes it looks like he slept in! I do see many more women dressed this way though. It could be the time of day I'm usually shopping now, which is before 11:00am. I like to be in and out before the noon rush or late day shoppers. I dress to please myself also. I've never been typically feminine unless it was required for on the job. Needless to say, the majority of my wardrobe is jeans and sweaters. I DO "scrub up well", ( I used to model, NOT the fashion stuff, no you wouldn't "know" me), but my interests and hobbys mostly lead to outdoors, dirt, fish guts, pursuits that obviously don't lend themselves to skirts and heels . I could cook a mean meal over a campfire though!! I'll be hoping more visitors come to visit and stay to chat. I have another question brewing, slightly controversial if you'd like me to ask you first scrboro, since YOUR lament started here. Posted by NoMoreNames |
Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » Wouldn't it be great to have simple conversations with other singles about anything one might want to discuss?
