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What Do You Do When You're Starting a New Relationship and You're not Communicating Well?
posted at September 23, 2012 8:50 PM EDT
First: August 17, 2009
Last: June 18, 2013
|Should you end it before it starts or try to fix it or can just one of you be not understanding your partners mode of communication. How can this be so hard at this age?|
Re: What Do You Do When You're Starting a New Relationship and You're not Communicating Well?
posted at October 31, 2012 12:43 AM EDT
First: September 1, 2008
Last: October 31, 2012
It's not that easy finding relationships. I know I would try to fix it if I liked the guy. Personally, at our age....how hard can communication be? It's just talking. And listening. It's not rocket science - I don't understand your term "mode of communication" Does the other person talk to you? And does she listen? That are the two requirements in any "mode"
How about you?? Are you good at those two requirements? If not, why? Maybe you have been hurt a time or two and don't want to open up. That can happen. So fix it inside of yourself. The past is past. Leave it there. If she is not opening up, tell her you understand there are a million and one reasons why she might be holding back but to have a relationship...she needs to get beyond them. Don't criticize. Empathize. Be kind. And give her kudos for trying. Some of those reasons are hard to get past. But remind her...you need to have open communication. Both of you need to talk and both of you need to listen. It's not rocket science.
If it can't be done with this woman...move on. But before you do, make sure you are not the barrier to the open communication. It's hard to see ourselves as we really are sometimes. It takes courage to look in the mirror and see the person who is really looking back. Not the person we want to pretend to be.