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You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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Love & Sex
You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>Ask your peers for relationship advice (and, dare we say, sex tips too?) Singles and married couples are all welcome, just remember to keep it PG-13, folks.</div><div><br /></div></font>
I think that is pretty tough to do now that I'm in my Autumn Season! Any thoughts friends?
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Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 12:51 PM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
Not sure if I have much choice. I suppose I could spend my time counting how often I have been hurt and how often I have dodged being hurt. Each day is new, I can be new also. I can look at things differently, I can be proactive, I can reach out and touch somebody, I can listen, I can hold someone's hand, I can share a joke or amusing story, I can be touched, I can be loved, I can be loveable. As I shake hands, I can put my other hand on the person's shoulder or elbow, I can pray for another person's benefit, I can smile, I can laugh, I can live more fully alive.... |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 2:24 PM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
There's an old Stephen Stills verse that says something to the effect of 'if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with'. When I first heard this, I was young and thought that it was a take off on free love and that may well have been what it meant then. If 'the one you love' has died or divorce has killed the dream of being with this one for the rest of your life, it's just not reasonable to wall yourself off and say there's no one else. We're never better at love than now (whether your 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or older) and it is absolutely no 'unfaithfulness' to 'the one you love' but can add an incredible richness to your life - obviously you have to have some discrimination tho for 'loving the one your with'. But, just because we're older, doesn't mean we're dead. I truly think I'm the best I've ever been and fully expect to feel this way maybe even when I hit the proverbial wall.
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 3:05 PM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
When I was young I believed if you don't try to love no matter how many time you get hurt, you would never feel alive. Because living without love is not living at all. But, after the three major loves of my life failed and the years before me number much, much less than those behind me. I have resigned to a state of solitude and comfort and put love aside, and have said farewell to love forever. farewell.......... |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 26, 2012 12:50 AM EST
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Posts: 4
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 26, 2012 |
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...: the hurt i feel is almost to much at times. Posted by bmagowan I know how you feel and I'm so so sorry. Life is so difficult at times. All I can say is time will help to heal your pain. Believe me, I know. I don't know your situation but you are hurting and you feel alone. You may have read my story on the Board. After being married for some time my first husband began to abuse me mentally, physically and sexually. I almost did not survive. Something made him release his grip on my neck. I guess it was a small bit of a conscience... I escaped and with the help of a wonderful organization I received the counseling I needed. I came out of this situation a strong, independent woman that was not afraid of her shadow. After a few years, a new relationship. Was as happy as a clam for 25 years. Then one day my husband came home from work and said "I'm moving out". Wow! What am I hearing. Was there just a crack in the Universe. I grieved, cried and was numb for years. Now six years later with the support of my loving children and grandchildren I came out of the fog. I feel I am ready to open my heart for that special someone that may be beyond the horizon. I'm sorry to give you my condensed version of my heartache but sometimes it helps to hear the difficult life of others. Believe me. It will get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Be strong and it will be alright in time. You are not alone. Give yourself the time to grieve and keep an open heart. Life is too precious to lose. "Never Give Up". You are in my prayers. God Bless You! A concerned listener! (Marie) |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 26, 2012 7:56 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 26, 2012 Last: February 26, 2012 |
For some of us it is easy and natural to love with gusto....to give love away! Our hearts can be broken when those we love and lie and deceive in one form or another. To continue to love takes courage and many times the reward carries us through and over the hurts. |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 26, 2012 9:30 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 26, 2012 Last: February 26, 2012 |
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...: In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that... : i don't have any advice much but wanted to let you know that i've been in the same condition as you. i just decided that i've got to live and so i might as well live. i don't mean that to sound as depressing as it sounds! i just mean that i've learned that alone or with someone that i go on and i try to find things that interest me on most days. on other days i try to "jam pack "my days full and time passes. in the whole process who knows? the biggest thing is staying busy and as i know that you heard before "put yourself out there." i don't know your age but i can tell you at 51 i feel like the golden years sometimes! Posted by wendy5555 Has anyone tried online dating? I see all these ads for senior dating and seriously, the women look so beautiful and the men are so handsome and it makes me feel extremely insecure about trying it. I will be 60 in a few months and it seems like most men my age are looking for younger women...it seems to be all about extenals for most men. |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 27, 2012 10:42 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 27, 2012 Last: February 27, 2012 |
to love like you"ve never been hurt is not reel love. My wife left me two months ago, after 28 years of marriage, and I never felt pain like that before. If she were to come back I would love her like I know what it is to be HURT so she doesn't leave again.......... Well, a man can dream can't he? |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 27, 2012 10:42 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 27, 2012 Last: February 27, 2012 |
Ladies, three problems I have had dating in my senior years. 1, Widows, I am sorry he is gone. You aren't running around on your husband, he is gone. Cherish the memories and go on with your life. 2. Divorcees, I don't care what the last jerk did to you, I am not him. Judge me for myself but don't expect me to betray you like "that" jerk did. 3, Attending a family event isn't a lifetime committment. If you are family orientated like me we will never have time to get to know one another if some family events like birthday parties aren't included. The first time is the toughest, you will feel like you are in a fishbowl. You are. The kids are wondering who is this person and is dad/mom serious about her/him. Don't worry about it. The phone will ring off the hook tomorrow and the kids will know who you are and what our dating status is. |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 29, 2012 6:27 PM EST
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Posts: 3
First: March 26, 2011 Last: January 17, 2013 |
After being together for 25+ years (married for 20) my husband came home one evening and said he didn't want to be married anymore. I laughed because I couldn't understand how, with one sentence, someone could dismiss 25yrs of their life, 5 children, and their best friend. I don't know if I reacted out of shock, but within 3 mths I had moved into my own home with our 3 youngest children, 12yrs, 10yrs, and 3mths old; I returned to college to get another degree; and filed for divorce. I also searched for a way to rid myself of the anger I felt towards my ex-husband. It took 2yrs to rid myself of that anger, but once it was gone I felt like I loved the whole world, everything and everybody in it! Talk about freeing.....I was so joyful all the time that people asked if I was in love.....the answer was always YES! Naturally everyone thought it was with a man but it wasn't. I had simply learned to forgive, not only my ex but myself and anyone who had ever harmed me ( I was also abandoned at the age of three by my mother ( it took 4yrs for my father to find out where she had left me and more to learn who had adopted me)). After finding and feeling true love, agape love, I was able to tell my ex that I loved him more now than I had in all the years we were together. It wasn't the "man and woman", "husband and wife" kind of love, it was just LOVE! And I ment every word I said. We became friends again and are still friends today. He calls everyday to talk about everything and anything and visits whenever he's in town. Sadly he's now in his 4th marriage. Between working, school, raising the last three kids, and being involved in several organizations, I had little time for forming committed relationships. About 8yrs ago I tried online dating but soon became disillusioned with it ( and I tried several sites.) Men are visual creatures and I was looking for someone who would value my mind, heart and feelings, not my body or my looks. After all we don't keep the wrapping paper or the box the gift comes in. The real GIFT is what's within. Around that same time I was visiting my siblings and an old friend of ours dropped by. His company was opening a new branch in our city, his wife had been dead for four years, and he still had family here so he asked to be transferred. Its been 7yrs now and we're still together. I am 67 and he is 59. We agree we're having the best time of our lives. Our motto is NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE IN! If you can find the ability to forgive and forget, your inner joy and peace will bring you love. |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at March 13, 2012 12:16 PM EDT
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Posts: 1
First: March 13, 2012 Last: March 13, 2012 |
to Du2414, 3 years , try 21 years and being told I just don't feel that way about you anymore. At 57 it is pretty hard to move on after that. I would have preferred to have it happen at that age. GW
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Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
