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You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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Love & Sex
You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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I think that is pretty tough to do now that I'm in my Autumn Season! Any thoughts friends?
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Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 24, 2012 8:21 PM EST
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Posts: 15
First: October 8, 2011 Last: January 6, 2013 |
I don't think it's undoable. I just determined that I have to move on from a really unhealthy unloving relationship and that I have a lot of work to do to do so. I think I avoided moving on because of all the work... and guess what, the remodeling is to be done on me, not anyone else! I'd really rather have that over with and have all sunshine and flowers on my birthday - wait, never did get that, so it's something to look forward to! While he is not a good person for me to be around, he is a good person. And while I feel like a bad person when I'm around him, I'm not a bad person. What I need to do is recapture feeling like a good person again. And I'm sure doing the work. (Wouldn't mind just waking up all fixed though!) Love to all... |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 24, 2012 10:24 PM EST
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Posts: 10
First: April 14, 2009 Last: February 24, 2012 |
Just by happenstance I was reading a novel by Terry Mcmillan titled Getting to happy, the sequel to Waiting to exhale. Which happens to deal with the relationships and heart break of four woman who are very close friends. I was reading a portion of the book where one of the women was on a blind date and had not dated in 12 years. Her ex-husband had been unfaithful and had sexual encounters with countless women by webcam and had subscribed to at least a dozen pornographic websites. For this blind date she had prepared several questions. One of the questions were, how do you measure happiness? The gentleman answered : "It's a feeling of calm that comes from inside. When you figure out what's important. When you have nothing to prove. Giving everything you do everything you've got and being satisfied,regardless of the outcome". When the man asked the woman for her answer to the same question she replied : "When you're willing to surrender to goodness and joy. Give yourself permission to feel it. Not holding yourself hostage for making mistakes. Doing what you love. Doing for others. Learning to cherish the beauty of right now. When you can make yourself smile and laugh without depending on anybody else". We only get one life ladies and I for one have purposed in my heart that in spite of the pain, in spite of the disappointments, in spite of the betrayal, that I will not allow unforgiveness, bitterness, animosity, hatred or thoughts of revenge take up any space in my heart. Live life to the fullest ladies you never can tell when you might meet him... Whether a refurbished him, or a new him. Get ready ladies to be happy because happiness comes from within. Dee |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 2:40 AM EST
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Posts: 4
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 26, 2012 |
I too have had my share of heartbreaks. My first marriage ended after 12 years of marriage. The relationship turned volatile. I was a victim of spousal abuse. I thank God each day for letting me survive from that terrible ordeal. I almost didn't make it... Through counseling and prayer I was able to pick my self up with the strength and confidence to go on living. I eventually found someone I felt had all the makings of a good husband and we married. I was on Cloud Nine for a number of years. I just couldn't believe how happy I was. Everyone said how lucky I was and I looked so very happy. Then after 25 years he came home from work to say "I'm moving out". After years of grieving, crying and trying to make sense of what went wrong, I finally feel whole again. All through the years I've tried to surround myself with my wonderful children and grandchildren. Through their laughter, love and support they helped me through this struggle and I made it through it all, again. It's been a long six years and I would love to find someone to share my life and special moments. I still have not given up and I have my heart open for that special someone that may be on the horizon. I'm told I'm a fighter and a strong woman. I just feel because of my previous experiences "I will never give up". I thank God for everyday I have the privilege to wake up to a new sunrise. Life is too precious to waste. A Survivor
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 4:01 AM EST
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Posts: 4
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 26, 2012 |
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...: that is easier said than done, being hurt and living 10 years alone, being afraid of being hurt it depends on the situation, I was controlled and verbally abused. I know it but am afraid to go ahead, every one I meet I find some reason to be afraid of them. The guys I meet all think they are perfect, NOT no such thing I am not perfect. I am willing to give someone a try but don/'t push. They all want sex, hey I want the right person first. Posted by ACJJJDA7 You're not alone. I too was the victim of spousal abuse. I was controlled, brainwashed, verbally, sexually and physically abused. I almost did not survive his beatings. Those were my darkest hours. Thanks to the help of a great organization I got the help I needed. They provided me with counseling. After the whole ordeal I came out a new, stronger, confident woman. I was finally able to stand on my own two feet and not be afraid. Be strong... I also understand what you're saying that all they want is sex. They don't want to get to know you or any of your wants and desires... You are right. You deserve to find that right person and don't let anyone convince you of the contrary. I also want the right person first. I want someone to share my life and family and not a stud service. Good luck to you in this new chapter of your life. We are traveling the same road together!!! Never Give Up! (You are loved for your strengths). A Survivor
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 7:33 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
In response to "You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...": I think that is pretty tough to do now that I'm in my Autumn Season! Any thoughts friends? Posted by Nancy195578 I think it is "work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt". If we are open to what the universe has to offer, there can be surprises. Best wishes, Julia |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 8:44 AM EST
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Posts: 2
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...: It is one of those sweet, innocent sound bites like "Love means never having to say you're sorry" that sounds great but isn't reality. We all know that love is messy and painful in addition to being wonderful. If you've never been hurt, there really isn't a space that's been created in your heart for the fullness of love. Posted by KFogarty Seven months ago, my on again off again 15 + year-relationship ended. In retrospect, we tried to make something work that never would.We do grow from our loses, everyone of them is good training for the next, WE get better, it's a learning process. Having gagged during the movie with the line "love is never having to say you're sorry"... REALLY? Life isn't really all about me. Love with wild abandonment (giving) is what reaps yours best rewards. We are old enough to let go of the ego that ran our lives for so long. Ask yourself what you are really looking for and go for that. If the list looks like high school, that is what you will get, the "fairy tale" that never was or will be, because it isn't real life (unlike "Reality TV"). I am on planet earth to share my life and learn from others and support everyone on their own unique journey while here. All of those years of academia are meaningless unless experienced. Better to have lost, than never to have loved at all. It is a PARTNERSHIP, ya gotta give soothing up in order to get what you really want. Get a mitt and get in the game. My best to ALL! |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 8:46 AM EST
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Posts: 2
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...: Just by happenstance I was reading a novel by Terry Mcmillan titled Getting to happy, the sequel to Waiting to exhale. Which happens to deal with the relationships and heart break of four woman who are very close friends. I was reading a portion of the book where one of the women was on a blind date and had not dated in 12 years. Her ex-husband had been unfaithful and had sexual encounters with countless women by webcam and had subscribed to at least a dozen pornographic websites. For this blind date she had prepared several questions. One of the questions were, how do you measure happiness? The gentleman answered : "It's a feeling of calm that comes from inside. When you figure out what's important. When you have nothing to prove. Giving everything you do everything you've got and being satisfied,regardless of the outcome". When the man asked the woman for her answer to the same question she replied : "When you're willing to surrender to goodness and joy. Give yourself permission to feel it. Not holding yourself hostage for making mistakes. Doing what you love. Doing for others. Learning to cherish the beauty of right now. When you can make yourself smile and laugh without depending on anybody else". We only get one life ladies and I for one have purposed in my heart that in spite of the pain, in spite of the disappointments, in spite of the betrayal, that I will not allow unforgiveness, bitterness, animosity, hatred or thoughts of revenge take up any space in my heart. Live life to the fullest ladies you never can tell when you might meet him... Whether a refurbished him, or a new him. Get ready ladies to be happy because happiness comes from within. Dee Posted by solidgold NICE, touche' |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 10:02 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" should be among all the thoughts and memories we have in our twilight years. To capture the meaning of "love like you've never been hurt" is to return to your first love with all its innocents. If you could erase all your years of living and take away all the rough roads as well as the smooth sailings the possibilities might be there, but it takes the both of you and all your efforts to develop in time a love ever lasting. Those are my thoughts. |
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Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
posted at February 25, 2012 12:17 PM EST
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Posts: 1
First: February 25, 2012 Last: February 25, 2012 |
Yes, love like you have never been hurt... but FIRST, get all the worst case scenario issues out of the way... live together or apart, banking and $$ issues need to be resolved, retirement dreams need to be aligned, how to organize the rerigerator needs to be agreed upon, how to spend vacations... alone ... together or both, lid up or lid down, communication, tone of voice, negotiation... These might sound like small things but they add up and can make or break a relationship. If one person is forceful and the other is a resentful wimp... it will not turn out well. |
Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
