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You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
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Love & Sex
You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...
<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>Ask your peers for relationship advice (and, dare we say, sex tips too?) Singles and married couples are all welcome, just remember to keep it PG-13, folks.</div><div><br /></div></font>
I think that is pretty tough to do now that I'm in my Autumn Season! Any thoughts friends?
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Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:cc481351-a8cf-45e9-a794-9252b2280d38Discussion:f84a8f8c-1e11-4dcd-b47d-e4158d62526d

Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

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Forums  »  Relationships  »  Love & Sex  »  You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 10:39 AM EST
Posts: 2
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...:
I have been married a few times and widowed twice.  Married in 2008 to someone to spend these "golden years" with and suddenly passed away Feb this year.  So much for the companionship I had hoped to have in these last years.  Any advice?
Posted by studebaker


Life happens: there is a time and season for everything under the sun. Make the absolute best of life with what you have. We often times look for love in all the wrong places, I believe that it starts from within,then vertically and laterally. Search yourself..... 

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 10:46 AM EST
Posts: 2
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011

To "love like you've never been hurt" is the act of total forgiveness. When you can radically forgive you are able to move forward and not remain stuck in the past. When we don't forgive we hold our offenders and ourselves in bondage to our hurt.Like a sore that refuses to heal we just keep bleeding for no reason. I refuse to live like that!!!!  

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 11:29 AM EST
Posts: 3
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011

You have to love and put yourself out there.  I'm 60, and I have more fun now, than I had at 20.  My x used me, ruined my credit, but you know, not everyone is the same.  To judge people in the future, by people in your past, just robs YOU of joy and contentment.  Right now, I have two wonderful men in love with me, and I love them both, for different reasons.  Like the song says:  "Damn!  It's Good to be me!"  I'm happier than I've ever been.  Alone, yes, but I see them, and then they go home!  No laundry, messes to clean up, and they take ME to dinner. 

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 11:36 AM EST
Posts: 1
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...:
That is not reality, especially when you are young and in love.  It's a harsh reality when you find out the person you love is not in love with you, especially when you've been married to them for over 3 years.  It's extremely difficult when you are 19 years old and very innocent and vulnerable.  Oh well like they say live & learn.
Posted by du2414

------
Try finding out after 30 years.  I have definitely learned and find it very hard to even think of opening my heart again; however, I still feel it is sound advice for others that can.  Who wants to fall in love with someone with their battle scars leading their personality.  I envision the case like the new luggage:  its hard to maneuver through the airport with any type of luggage, but the new one with spin wheels is like a breeze--free and easy to have with you.

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 11:48 AM EST
Posts: 1
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...:
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that... : Life happens: there is a time and season for everything under the sun. Make the absolute best of life with what you have. We often times look for love in all the wrong places, I believe that it starts from within,then vertically and laterally. Search yourself..... 
Posted by sashablue


I totally agree that love starts from within.  Happiness also starts from within because if you are not happy with yourself, how can you expect for someone else to be happy with you.  I also, like other posters, have had deep hurt from a failed relationship.  My husband of 15 years decided he didn't want to be married anymore, we had two children, and suddenly I was alone.  It's been 28 years now, I didn't re-marry, I'm retired from a good job, and I'm happy.  I raised my children, now have grandchildren, and life is good. 

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 12:03 PM EST
Posts: 1
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
I have been a widow for seven years now and my late husband was the love of my life.  When he passed away it hurt very much, still hurts today.  I don't think I can love like that again----- it hurts too much.

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 12:33 PM EST
Posts: 2
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
In Response to Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...:
In Response to You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that... : It's always a risk, but I prefer the risk to no relationship at all.
Posted by Elmcorners

I believe my aunt said it best it's better to be alone than in bad company!

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 12:36 PM EST
Posts: 2
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
It's better to be alone than in bad company. Haven't found any good company so I will stay by myself .

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 1:39 PM EST
Posts: 4
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 4, 2011
In Response to You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...:
I think that is pretty tough to do now that I'm in my Autumn Season! Any thoughts friends?
Posted by Nancy195578


I guess I am just at the beginning of my Autumn years.  I would say that for someone to believe it when you say you love them it has to be said like you truly have forgiven and forgotten the hurt from a past love and are ready to love again with all your heart.

Re: You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...

posted at December 3, 2011 2:01 PM EST
Posts: 1
First: December 3, 2011
Last: December 3, 2011
I wasted nearly 30 years being tied emotionally and even physically in the pain of the past.  I suffered from post traumatic stress from a viiolent and emotionally abusive 1st marriage.  Yes, total innocence crushed totally.   I do know of what I speak and I guarantee anyone out there that it is worth it to MOVE ON  no matter what age you are and no matter what the hurt was. 

3 things:
1) identify what part of the situation was your own responsibility (excruciating and often difficult to find, but, even if your part was only 2%, that 2% allows you to take back yourself, remove yourself from the victim list and regain your personal power.  Do it!   Control your own life so you can LIVE it.

2)  Learn to forgive (at some level) anything... even if that only means recognizing that you and the other person were (almost certainly) doing the best you could do at that time.  It's just possible that the other person would do things differently now and it's just possible they would be sorry for the way they treated you at some level... just never waste your life waiting around for an apology.  May or may not ever happen - not worth waiting or searching or asking for (in most cases anyway).  Just forgive yourself, forgive anyone else as best you can.  This will free you up to move on.

3)  Absoluely, completely, deeply learn to appreciate and love yourself!  You are important.  You are wonderful.  Be your best self as best you can and love yourself through all of your own experiences.  Be your own best friend. Your heart will be able to open up to others in such a more powerful ability to love.  Be your own best friend and love... you will be a magnet for love that will enrich you.  Even the death of that loved one will give you memories of LOVE, good, sustaining memories. 

No matter what age, no matter what happened Let Go Of the Hurt of the Past.  Do not hold on to it for any reason.  Do not save pictures of one who abused you.  Do not save gifts from that person.  Do not think of 'how it might have been' or 'how it should have been' or 'how I would have been had this not happened to me' or 'my life has been wasted'.  Grieve it and be done.   Remove any power that person held over you.  Ditch those memories and truncate any debris inside that you can.  Keep pruning it away as you go forward.  BE HAPPY.  BE LOVE. 

I love you.
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Forums » Relationships » Love & Sex » You know that saying "love like you've never been hurt" or something like that...