I think its' better to leave it alone, don't get others involved. We have to resolve it within ourselves I always refer to Kahil Gabran, 'You're children are not your children they are lifes longing for ........". I went to college, had businesses, etc. But that feeling never goes away, then there are holidays, birthdays, and all of that crap. It is definitely a mind game. But, I am happy to know at least that they are healthy and work. I was estranged from my mother, as her and my father divorced, and my father hid us from her for many years. Eventually, I found her on the net and reestablished a relationship with her, Then Alzheimer's got her and I cared for her until she went to be with the Lord, two years ago. We really must put it in God's hands, because by ourselves we will go crazy, That is the main reason I have FaceBook, so that one day they may reach out to me, They were swayed by their dad and step-mom, it is so cruel to do that to anyone. But we all pay for what we do, I have been through 3 relationships and always encourage the relationship between my partner and their children, that means accepting the ex-wife, however uncomfortable that is. Maybe it is a way for us to share what we have learned and what not to do. thanks for letting me finally talk about this, on another post I mentioned that I don't have a large social network, but of the people I know 11 of them are estranged from their children. So that tells me that many others have hidden this information for many years. Tata for now. Diane Helmer Ramos (Facebook) In Response to Re: Estranged Family Members- How Do You Cope? :
Posted by Fearby

The day before Mother's day my oldest daughter ( 54) e-mailed the article with no comment.  Although things have been rocky between us for 4 years I thought that in the last year when she began to include me in her life and that of her 16 year old daughter (I was my daughter's coach at the birth of her daughter and I cannot even speak of the pain I feel at the loss of my granddaughter). I spent three years apologizing for every sin I might have committed and assured her that I had always loved her and had never meant to hurt her.  She never really told me why she had been so mad at me but I accepted all responsibility and did everything I could think of to make amends,  Then totally out of the blue she e-mailed me this article on the day before Mother's Day.  Frankly I don't know why I am still alive. After days of pain and grief I e-mailed her that we are officially divorced I can no longer take this "on-again off-again" relationship which has come at a time when I had to give up my career as a lawyer Because of Parkinson's. I had simply reached my level of tolerance of pain. My last e-mail to her stated, "I will no longer apologize for anything.  I gave you (and your siblings) the greatest gift of all Life,  Without me you wouldn't exist."
Dear elizabeth4,
You are not alone in apologizing profusely, only to be rejected again. It becomes a pattern that is difficult to overcome. You did the right thing to say, "enough" , I am only human. Humans all make mistakes, and our mistakes are not because we want to cause pain, but, only because we are human. We deserve to be respected, and appreciated. If the other party refuses to do that, then we have to show respect for ourselves! No, this is not easy, but, very hard.
I , too, have apologized all I could, and still do not see my loved one. Most days, I just want to know if she is OK. Sometimes I want to see her face again, just once.  But, I refuse to let it destroy the rest of my life. We must insist on making our life the best possible! What other option is there? We must go on, and enjoy our lives as fully as possible.
Posted by elizabethh4