Join AARP
Join for Just $16 A Year
- Discounts on travel and everyday savings
- Subscription to AARP The Magazine
- Free membership for your spouse or partner
Message Boards Directory
Welcome to the AARP Discussion Board. Here you can talk with peers about current events ranging from Social Security to caring for your parents to the latest on health care reform. It is also the perfect place to exchange healthy eating recipes and job hunting tips.
These forums are for you to engage and have fun meeting new people. Just remember the community code: Be nice!
Need your help
False
Caregiving
Need your help
<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>In this caregiving message board lean on others for advice, tips or just the proverbial shoulder to cry on.</div><div><br /></div></font>
I think I've introduced myself before. I write a weekly blog for AARP on family caregiving ( http://blog.aarp.org/author/aarpsally/) and thought I'd ask you, the experts, for help. I am writing a post
0
Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465
Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465Discussion:2c424062-ec2a-4d4b-98b5-74a2a60edfd1
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » Need your help
|
Need your help
posted at October 19, 2012 10:56 AM EDT
|
Posts: 4
First: November 20, 2008 Last: October 19, 2012 |
I think I've introduced myself before. I write a weekly blog for AARP on family caregiving (http://blog.aarp.org/author/aarpsally/) and thought I'd ask you, the experts, for help. I am writing a post abut the top taboo topics for caregivers--what they don't talk about but hate to do or are afraid to discuss with others. I'm thinking cleaning up a parent's urine and pooh and being afraid you'll lose your temper. There are lots more. What are the hard parts of caregiving that you don't talk about? Why don't you talk about them? Do you wish you could? I know you've got lots to say! Thanks in advance. My email is sally@sallyabrahms.com.
|
|
|
Re: Need your help
posted at November 6, 2012 1:37 PM EST
|
|
Posts: 2
First: November 6, 2012 Last: November 6, 2012 |
I guess one of the things that bothers me most is my wife (for whom I'm the caregiver) gets upset with me whenever I bring up some care issue that is obvious to the rest of the family but that they won't comment upon. (My guess is that they've learned not to...) Then, I become the 'bad guy' or 'Mr. Negativity' for bringing up the issue. These issues are real and involve such things as keeping doctor appointments as scheduled, taking medication according to doctor's instructions, keeping feet clean, bathing and washing hair regularly, eating the appropriate foods, etc. (There's just too many issues to list but I think you have the idea.) However, if one of her Doctors, Nurses of Medical Technicians (she's on dialysis and so sees medical personnel at least three times each week) brings up something like that, then all of the sudden it is an issue to her and she's then mad at me for not telling her (believe me, by the time one of the medicos notices something, I've already tried to get her to deal with it)! Mike in Phoenix |
|
|
Re: Need your help
posted at November 19, 2012 6:07 PM EST
|
|
Posts: 15
First: August 31, 2012 Last: January 20, 2013 |
My Mother passed away last Sunday. She died peacefully and was in no pain and for that I am grateful. We had a difficult relationship (she was negative about most everything, critical of everyone but herself, and just generally not pleasant to be with). During the last months of her life, she couldn't go to the bathroom by herself or clean herself. She was living in an Assisted Living Center and they usually did this for her, but if I was there, she wanted me to do it. I hated it but never told her. I'm glad I never told her and glad I didn't have to do it very often. If I had been her primary caregiver, I don't know how I would have handled it, but it would have been a problem. I am a 60 yr old daughter being totally honest. |
|
|
Re: Need your help
posted at November 23, 2012 11:58 AM EST
|
|
Posts: 4
First: December 30, 2011 Last: November 23, 2012 |
In Response to Need your help: I think I've introduced myself before. I write a weekly blog for AARP on family caregiving ( http://blog.aarp.org/author/aarpsally/) and thought I'd ask you, the experts, for help. I am writing a post abut the top taboo topics for caregivers--what they don't talk about but hate to do or are afraid to discuss with others. I'm thinking cleaning up a parent's urine and pooh and being afraid you'll lose your temper. There are lots more. What are the hard parts of caregiving that you don't talk about? Why don't you talk about them? Do you wish you could? I know you've got lots to say! Thanks in advance. My email is sally@sallyabrahms.com. Posted by sallya MyFeelings! I've taken care of my Mom 24/7 for the last few years. When I am sad because of a death in the family, or health concerns that I or my spouse has, or repairs that need to be done or any one of many things; I can not express myself in front of Mom. She is all about how she has lived too long and wants to die. Daily she prays for death. The negativity can be excessive on a good day. Dementia is a horrible disease. I need to be Suzy Sunshine at all times, or the reprecussions are huge. Thank you are letting me vent. |
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » Need your help
