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Looking for advice
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Caregiving
Looking for advice
<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>In this caregiving message board lean on others for advice, tips or just the proverbial shoulder to cry on.</div><div><br /></div></font>
My mother is 82 and lives alone in the house where she has lived for 55 years. The house is two stories with the washer and dryer in the basement. She has no local support since
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Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465
Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465Discussion:b9eb0047-cf90-4f85-b637-a94470e3c760
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » Looking for advice
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Looking for advice
posted at December 8, 2012 2:05 PM EST
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Posts: 4
First: November 27, 2012 Last: December 8, 2012 |
My mother is 82 and lives alone in the house where she has lived for 55 years. The house is two stories with the washer and dryer in the basement. She has no local support since I am about 200 miles away and my sister is on the other side of the country. She is in fairly good shape for her age, but her eyesight is starting to deteriorate, gets migraine headaches with auras, has hypertension and is very excitable/fearful at the thought of going to the dentist, taking her car for repair or many simple everyday activites. For the past ten years my sister and I have been trying to convince her that she should move to a single story residence and/or to move to AZ near my sister. She has resisted changing for a few reasons - a) change is scarey, b) moving would be a sign that the end is near, c) she fears anyone having control over her e.g., someday being put in a nursing home, d) she still hopes that someday she will meet the right gentleman and be re-married. As years go by she becomes less flexible. For example, now she refuses to fly. I fear that in her current living arrangement too many things can go wrong. My sister and I fear the day that we receive notification that she has fallen and broken a hip or had a stroke or both. I feel like I should be doing more now to improve the situation but I am not sure what to do. Does anyone have any advice. |
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Re: Looking for advice
posted at December 9, 2012 2:17 PM EST
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Posts: 1923
First: November 27, 2011 Last: May 18, 2013 |
When my mother was no longer able to take care of her household, I found a " Senior Independent Living Facility for her": It was great ! There are many places like this - This is the one where my mother lived for 12+ years. Clairmont Oaks You can talk to the Dept. of Aging where she lives to find out what sort of senior housing is available. She probably won't be scared after she sees that many of her fellow residents are very much like her. Take her to visit some in her area. |
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Re: Looking for advice
posted at December 11, 2012 3:31 PM EST
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Posts: 9
First: August 3, 2012 Last: December 13, 2012 |
It sounds like your mom might need a comprehensive medical exam. Many chronic conditions such as you’ve described can change as someone ages. She may have been on medications for a long time, which are now causing an adverse reaction. If she doesn’t have a doctor to do the comprehensive medical exam, you might try finding a hospital with a geriatric department and making an appointment in the outpatient clinic. Also the isolation she is experiencing may be impacting her sense of security. Having her talk with a counselor and getting out among other people may help her manage everyday activities and make important decisions. Try the Eldercare Locator www.eldercare.gov or the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers www.caremanager.org. |
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Re: Looking for advice
posted at December 18, 2012 7:17 PM EST
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Posts: 20
First: September 24, 2010 Last: April 1, 2013 |
I'm in a similar situation. 1st & most important - redesign the house so it's handicap accessible. Ex: a chair lift for the staircase; a rising toilet seat with handlebars; do not store anything on high shelves; plastic storage cabinets or drawers so she can have easy access to stuff; a cane or walker; a medical alert button; a landline telephone with big buttons; a prepaid cellphone for seniors; create labels with large letters for prescription medicines. Hope this helps |
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » Looking for advice
