Join AARP
Join for Just $16 A Year
- Discounts on travel and everyday savings
- Subscription to AARP The Magazine
- Free membership for your spouse or partner
Message Boards Directory
Welcome to the AARP Discussion Board. Here you can talk with peers about current events ranging from Social Security to caring for your parents to the latest on health care reform. It is also the perfect place to exchange healthy eating recipes and job hunting tips.
These forums are for you to engage and have fun meeting new people. Just remember the community code: Be nice!
Frustrated Caregiver
False
Caregiving
Frustrated Caregiver
<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>In this caregiving message board lean on others for advice, tips or just the proverbial shoulder to cry on.</div><div><br /></div></font>
Hi. Tomorrow I have a meeting with an Elder Law attorney. I am hoping that when I leave this meeting, I have a direction and some peace of mind. I read that I can get answers from my
0
Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465
Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465Discussion:fc15c590-06a4-4c2b-a7eb-152bb4d7bd7e
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » Frustrated Caregiver
|
Frustrated Caregiver
posted at August 20, 2012 10:34 PM EDT
|
Posts: 1
First: August 20, 2012 Last: August 20, 2012 |
Hi. Tomorrow I have a meeting with an Elder Law attorney. I am hoping that when I leave this meeting, I have a direction and some peace of mind. I read that I can get answers from my local Office of Aging. When I call them, I am told to call the state office. I call the state office and am told to contact the local office. I try to find info on line and am referred to my local Office of Aging. Medicare was frustrating enough and now I am dealing with Medicaid. The answers that I have received from the people that I have spoken with have not been consistent. Why is it that I must now spend our money to involve an attorney just to get somewhere? What is the secret to getting someone to answer specific questions BEFORE I get into the medicaid process? Any suggestions from anyone? |
|
Re: Frustrated Caregiver
posted at August 21, 2012 12:28 PM EDT
|
|
Posts: 9
First: August 3, 2012 Last: December 13, 2012 |
If you haven't contacted the Legal Service Commission, you should try them first. You can find the state office at http://www.lsc.gov/find-legal-aid. You should also try the Senior Health Insurance Assistance Program or SHIP sometimes called by a different name. You can find the SHIP for your area at www.shiptalk.org. SHIP provides one-on-one counseling. Hope this help and good luck. |
|
|
Re: Frustrated Caregiver
posted at August 24, 2012 2:18 PM EDT
|
|
Posts: 1
First: August 24, 2012 Last: August 24, 2012 |
II empathize with your struggles. I have beeen disappointed that AARP deals so well with Medicare issues, but seems to ignore the thornier Medicaid issues that threaten to impoverish many of usolder middle-class people. My husband has Parkinson's and we have been looking for solutions to inevitable financial ruin, despite what was once healthy retirement funds and long-term care. We finally found a good Elder Law Attorney via recommendations. Her solution worked on paper, but when we showed it to our financial advisor, he confirmed my fear that it would not work in actuality. From there, after many months, my husband and I each obtainied a collaborative lawyer who will see us once individually, then four of us will work together as wel as possible. And, yes, perhaps the best solution is the one we dare not contemplate or articulate. Sometimes divorce can be the greatest act of love. |
|
|
Re: Frustrated Caregiver
posted at August 24, 2012 8:04 PM EDT
|
Posts: 1923
First: November 27, 2011 Last: May 18, 2013 |
In Response to Frustrated Caregiver: Hi. Tomorrow I have a meeting with an Elder Law attorney. I am hoping that when I leave this meeting, I have a direction and some peace of mind. I read that I can get answers from my local Office of Aging. When I call them, I am told to call the state office. I call the state office and am told to contact the local office. I try to find info on line and am referred to my local Office of Aging. Medicare was frustrating enough and now I am dealing with Medicaid. The answers that I have received from the people that I have spoken with have not been consistent. Why is it that I must now spend our money to involve an attorney just to get somewhere? What is the secret to getting someone to answer specific questions BEFORE I get into the medicaid process? Any suggestions from anyone? Posted by suew1156 Much of Medicaid help for the elderly/disabled is based on your state rules of eligibility and also the programs that are available - they are not the same in each state. When times tough financially for state budgets, you will find the eligibility a bit more stringent - This is especially true when someone might need that extra help with Medicare D or B premiums and covered medications. But when you are looking to find help in care & housing - it is a tough road. I self pay for the care of my mother - she is total care and I even have a hard time finding something that is less than a nursing home which in my area runs upwards of $ 6500 - $ 7500 a month depending on room accommodations. Try to look up your state's medicaid programs for the elderly on the computer. What are you trying to do and in what state? |
|
|
Re: Depressed Tired Caregiver
posted at November 16, 2012 12:22 AM EST
|
|
Posts: 1
First: November 16, 2012 Last: November 16, 2012 |
hello, I have been a caregiver for my mom for almost 6years. She has had 2 strokes and TIA s in between. I have an almost 15 year old. I am divorced and recently retired. I have wonderful people that we pay mostly through the DMAS program. I know that I have been home to much lately. Mom was in the hospital recently for 2 weeks, and I have not had time to rest from that. She has COPD, chronic kidney problem and high blood. Where do I find balance? I am not good at taking care of myself regularly. I seem to get to my rope's end on different occasions, and then I realize t have not folllowed the good advice I give to other caregivers " to take care of themselves". I deal with guilt, anxiety over feeling like I dont have a life. I love my mom dearly and would rather her be home with me & my son that in a nursing facility. I have got to find a way to take better care of me. I am going to pray more, look for a part time job, and I am planning a trip to Atlanta, GA....just for me! I get so tired of someone always in my house!!!! Is there anyone that is as frustrated as I am? |
|
|
Re: Depressed Tired Caregiver
posted at November 17, 2012 12:20 PM EST
|
|
Posts: 4
First: December 30, 2011 Last: November 23, 2012 |
In Response to Re: Depressed Tired Caregiver: hello, I have been a caregiver for my mom for almost 6years. She has had 2 strokes and TIA s in between. I have an almost 15 year old. I am divorced and recently retired. I have wonderful people that we pay mostly through the DMAS program. I know that I have been home to much lately. Mom was in the hospital recently for 2 weeks, and I have not had time to rest from that. She has COPD, chronic kidney problem and high blood. Where do I find balance? I am not good at taking care of myself regularly. I seem to get to my rope's end on different occasions, and then I realize t have not folllowed the good advice I give to other caregivers " to take care of themselves". I deal with guilt, anxiety over feeling like I dont have a life. I love my mom dearly and would rather her be home with me & my son that in a nursing facility. I have got to find a way to take better care of me. I am going to pray more, look for a part time job, and I am planning a trip to Atlanta, GA....just for me! I get so tired of someone always in my house!!!! Is there anyone that is as frustrated as I am? Posted by dont4gt Yes, it is very frustrating! I have taken care of my Mom for 8 years. My siblings call infrequently. They can not/will not/ would not care for her. They would put her in a nursing home. She just turned 93. They both came to the house to "celebrate". 24/7 is very wearing. During her last bout of med changes, her Dr arranged for a home health nusre to visit her every week. They were a Godsend. I learned about a program thru the office of the aging. With the nurses encouragement, I was able to enroll Mom in an adult day program. As a bonus, the office pays for 1 day per week! She enjoys the program and the socialization. I have a day to catch up and remember who I am. I have started to catch up on my annual exams to stay healthy. Mom has numerous health conditions including dementia. She can not be left alone at any time. I am starting to feel better thanks to the support of this Adult Day program! I hope that you can find a similar program. It helps. God Bless You. |
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » Frustrated Caregiver
